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More Children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience. v.4

More Children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 4
The Majority of youngsters in advanced regions are becoming fat and this is a really a matter of great concern. This essay shall discuss the root cause of obesity and the trivial impact it can have on the wellbeing of youngsters. The primary cause why adolescents are becoming corpulent is because of their ever increasing consumption of unhygienic street food. It is illustrated that children nowadays do not follow the proper diet regime and more inclined towards eating ready-made cooked foods which contain high amount of fats owing to which they turn stout. For instance, mass number of young people visit McDonald’s to grab a burger and also consume roadside Chinese dishes on a regular basis which lowers their nutritional value as a result of which they become overweight. However, the obstacle of being obese has some negative outcomes on the health of the teenagers. The main outcome is that eating more and more junk foods can boost the cholesterol levels among the offspring due to which they are likely to suffer from diabetes at an early age. In addition, rise in cholesterol levels can result in heart attacks which is a serious problem. To exemplify, a recent survey carried out by ‘Mumbai University’ portrayed that eighty percent of youths are obese because of their attraction of eating unhealthy delicious food. In conclusion, the above essay discussed the causes of being overweight and the effects it has on the health of children and how it can lead to a severe issue if their diet is not controlled.
The Majority of youngsters in advanced regions are becoming
fat
and this is a
really
a matter of great concern. This essay shall discuss the root cause of obesity and the trivial impact it can have on the
wellbeing
of youngsters.

The primary cause why adolescents are becoming corpulent is
because
of their
ever increasing
consumption of unhygienic street food. It
is illustrated
that children nowadays do not follow the proper diet regime and more inclined towards eating ready-made cooked foods which contain high amount of fats owing to which they turn stout.
For instance
, mass number of young
people
visit McDonald’s to grab a burger and
also
consume roadside Chinese dishes on a regular basis which lowers their nutritional value
as a result
of which they become overweight.

However
, the obstacle of being obese has
some
negative
outcomes on the health of the
teenagers
. The main outcome is that eating more and more junk foods can boost the cholesterol levels among the offspring due to which they are likely to suffer from diabetes at an early age.
In addition
, rise in cholesterol levels can result in heart attacks which is a serious problem. To exemplify, a recent survey carried out by ‘Mumbai University’ portrayed that eighty percent of youths are obese
because
of their attraction of eating unhealthy delicious food.

In conclusion
, the above essay discussed the causes of being overweight and the effects it has on the health of children and how it can lead to a severe issue if their diet is not controlled.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay More Children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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