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Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children. v.4

Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children. v. 4
Today, most children in the world grow up with TV. This has both advantages and disadvantages. Children can learn many interesting and valuable things from TV. There are programs that are designed specifically to teach young people. Some of them reinforce skills that children need for reading. For example, they might help children learn to read letters and common words. Or they might have actors reading or telling stories. Other programs teach children fascinating facts about the natural world or about life in other countries or about other interesting things. Through programs such as these, children can be exposed to information that they might not learn otherwise. Often, I have seen children become excited about subjects they first heard about on TV. They then go on to seek out books and other sources of information about these subjects. On the other hand, there are also drawbacks to TV. For one thing, watching TV is a passive activity. Children don't participate in TV programs. They don't ask questions or tell their own opinions or choose what to do next. They passively receive the information or entertainment they are given. Watching TV is also physically inactive. When children spend too much time watching TV, they don't spend enough time running and playing actively. In addition, there are a lot of programs on TV that are inappropriate for children, but children can still see them. This can be confusing and scary for some. There are both good and bad sides to TV. One thing, however, is always true: too much of anything is never good.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the world grow up with TV. This has both advantages and disadvantages.

Children can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
interesting and valuable things from TV. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that
are designed
specifically
to teach young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them reinforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need for reading.
For example
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn to read letters and common words. Or they might have actors reading or telling stories.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fascinating facts about the natural world or about life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries or about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interesting things. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
such as these,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be exposed
to information that they might not learn
otherwise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become excited about subjects they
first
heard about on TV. They then go on to seek out books and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources of information about these subjects.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
also
drawbacks to TV. For one thing, watching TV is a passive activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
don't participate in TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. They don't ask questions or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions or choose what to do
next
. They
passively
receive the information or entertainment they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Watching TV is
also
physically
inactive. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend too much time watching TV, they don't spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time running and playing
actively
.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on TV that are inappropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them. This can be confusing and scary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.

There are both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides to TV. One thing,
however
, is always true: too much of anything is never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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