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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.13

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 13
Obesity is becoming an insisting problem that collides with the developed countries mainly. There is an increasing number of children in the first-world nations who are becoming fat. It is considered as a serious problem for the developed countries. In this essay, I am going to show the reasons behind such an increase and the consequences of obese children in wealthy countries. To begin with, a lot of factors lead to unfit children. One reason is fast food, which is the main reason for obesity among children and adults. Although junk food is easy to prepare and provides a delicious tasteful, it is harmful to children who require healthy food, which would help in building their constantly growing body. For example, according to a report by the World Health Organization published in 2017, over 60% of the customers of fast-food brands are youngsters. Another reason is the low or no sports practice. If adolescents set a daily amount of time for sports, they would not have big bellies nor have a fat body shape. In addition to this point, daily exercise helps to burn the aggregate calories, which are obtained from the inconvenient food. Moreover, immense children would negatively affect the health care system. Because of health problems that accompany obesity, the burden to cover the health problem would be high. For example, diabetes, which occurs from obesity requires costly medicine. Another consequence is the declining gross domestic production. As juveniles of today are the working men of tomorrow, while discarding obesity is a very hard process, futuristic workforce would have lower productivity. Since obese employees are significantly exposed to health problems, employees would have many health problems related to obesity, such as, cardiovascular problems and knee problems, which affect their ability to efforts and productivity. To conclude, the daily routine is responsible for the obesity of children, furthermore, obesity has such tremendous negative impacts on the workforce and the country as well.
Obesity is becoming an insisting
problem
that collides with the
developed countries
mainly
. There is an increasing number of
children
in the
first
-world nations who are becoming
fat
. It
is considered
as a serious
problem
for the
developed countries
. In this essay, I am going to
show
the
reasons
behind such an increase and the consequences of obese
children
in wealthy countries.

To
begin
with,
a lot of
factors lead to unfit
children
. One
reason
is
fast
food, which is the main
reason
for obesity among
children
and adults. Although junk food is easy to prepare and provides a delicious tasteful, it is harmful to
children
who require healthy food, which would
help
in building their
constantly
growing body.
For example
, according to a report by the World
Health
Organization published in 2017, over 60% of the customers of
fast
-food brands are youngsters. Another
reason
is the low or no sports practice. If adolescents set a daily amount of time for sports, they would not have
big
bellies nor have a
fat
body shape.
In addition
to this point, daily exercise
helps
to burn the aggregate calories, which
are obtained
from the inconvenient food.

Moreover
, immense
children
would
negatively
affect the
health
care system.
Because
of
health
problems
that accompany obesity, the burden to cover the
health
problem
would be high.
For example
, diabetes, which occurs from obesity requires costly medicine. Another consequence is the declining gross domestic production. As juveniles of
today
are the working
men
of tomorrow, while discarding obesity is a
very
hard
process, futuristic workforce would have lower productivity. Since obese employees are
significantly
exposed to
health
problems
, employees would have
many
health
problems
related to obesity, such as, cardiovascular
problems
and knee
problems
, which affect their ability to efforts and productivity.

To conclude
, the daily routine is responsible for the obesity of
children
,
furthermore
, obesity has such tremendous
negative
impacts on the workforce and the country
as well
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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