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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.7

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 7
In recent years, particularly in rich countries, many children have been appearing with much fatness due to following an unhealthy food plan, lack of exercises and other health problems. In this essay, we will look at the causes and effects of obesity and how they have been affected by over-weight with some relevant examples. To begin with, many people in developed countries are looking only at the taste of food and may not aware of the ingredients in the food and also the methods of making the food. This would lead to their children and have been addicted to some foods. For example, junk food. Furthermore, they do not push the children to follow the proper diet plan and regular physical exercises. Thus, body movements are less, they would become much more weight than before. For instance, the World Health Organization has recently conducted a survey that 50% of children from wealthier countries have been suffering from obesity due to their living conditions. Secondly, the effects of obesity can be more. Children would face the problem with their daily routines. This would lead to a loss of their focus on their education. They would feel that they always want to become lazy and not willing to do their school assignments and other works too. Furthermore, this would also create an impact on their mind as well. For instance, the New York Times recently stated in an article that the children who have been affected by obesity are facing more challenging to do their jobs by physically and mentally. To conclude, Parents and Schools should look after their children by forcing them to follow good food control and healthy exercises or yoga to maintain their fitness constantly.
In recent years,
particularly
in rich countries,
many
children
have been appearing with much fatness due to following an unhealthy
food
plan, lack of exercises and other health problems. In this essay, we will look at the causes and effects of obesity and how they have been
affected
by over-weight with
some
relevant examples.

To
begin
with,
many
people
in
developed countries
are looking
only
at the taste of
food
and may not aware of the ingredients in the
food
and
also
the methods of making the
food
. This would lead to their
children
and have
been addicted
to
some
foods
.
For example
, junk
food
.
Furthermore
, they do not push the
children
to follow the proper diet plan and regular physical exercises.
Thus
, body movements are less, they would become much more weight than
before
.
For instance
, the World Health Organization has recently conducted a survey that 50% of
children
from wealthier countries have been suffering from obesity due to their living conditions.

Secondly
, the effects of obesity can be more.
Children
would face the problem with their daily routines. This would lead to a loss of their focus on their education. They would feel that they always want to become lazy and not willing to do their school assignments and other works too.
Furthermore
, this would
also
create an impact on their mind
as well
.
For instance
, the New York Times recently stated in an article that the
children
who have been
affected
by obesity are facing more challenging to do their jobs by
physically
and mentally.

To conclude
, Parents and Schools should look after their
children
by forcing them to follow
good
food
control and healthy exercises or yoga to maintain their fitness
constantly
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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