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Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v.2

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v. 2
As newer technological ways are coming into existence day by day, latest ways of jobs are taking a lead over older ones. The use of modern inventions like computers and internet and the ease associated with their usage has opened enormous ways including doing difficult and time consuming tasks at home rather than going to office daily. This essay will highlight some pros and cons associated with this newer practice. On one hand, work done by sitting at home using own computers and the internet requires less time. As the time utilized in going office daily is saved, so one can devote himself to work only. This, in result, makes it possible to do a particular task on time accurately. Apart from saving time, the peaceful environment of home relaxes one's nerves and thus, one can perform an assigned task in an effective way. The tense and busy work atmosphere is an obstacle in revealing some people's actual qualities which can be dawned upon the world by working at home. This is particularly true for some civil engineers who formulate a specific construction design by using computers and the web for few days while staying at home and subsequently, implementing these unique designs in constructing a building on construction sites. Hence, better work output with lesser utilization of time is obtained. On the other hand, some habits that are developed by adopting a certain routine are compromised. The habits like punctuality, team work spirit, courtesy, tolerance and establishing good public relations are not developed by doing part of jobs at home. For example, the people who work on making websites for big companies and famous brands often face difficulty in seeking help or collaborating with others when they come across a problem while doing their work. Thus, they end up giving a huge loss to the companies they work for. To sum up, the advantages and disadvantages of doing jobs at home by usage of modern technology can be thought of being two sides of a coin that run parallel. However, the advantages including lesser time consumption seem to outnumber the disadvantages of diminishing team spirits and courtesy.
As newer technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
are coming into existence day by day,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of jobs are taking a lead over older ones. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern inventions
Did you mean "likes"?
like
computers and internet and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
associated with their usage has opened enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
difficult and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
tasks at home
rather
than going to office daily. This essay will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons associated with this newer practice.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done by sitting at home using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
computers and the internet requires less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
utilized in going office daily
is saved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one can devote himself to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This, in result,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible to do a particular task on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
accurately
. Apart from saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the peaceful environment of home relaxes one's nerves and
thus
, one can perform an assigned task in an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
. The tense and busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
atmosphere is an obstacle in revealing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's actual qualities which can
be dawned
upon the world by working at home. This is
particularly
true for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
civil engineers who formulate a specific construction design by using computers and the web for few days while staying at home and
subsequently
, implementing these unique designs in constructing a building on construction sites.
Hence
, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
output with lesser utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is obtained
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
habits that
are developed
by adopting a certain routine
are compromised
. The habits like punctuality, team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
spirit, courtesy, tolerance and establishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
public relations are not developed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part of jobs at home.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on making websites for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face difficulty in seeking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or collaborating with others when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across a problem while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up giving a huge loss to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for.

To sum up, the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
jobs at home by usage of modern technology can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of being two sides of a coin that run parallel.
However
, the advantages including lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
consumption seem to outnumber the disadvantages of diminishing team spirits and courtesy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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