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The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing? v.4

The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing? v. 4
In the modern era, the broadcasting channels all over the world are keener into the lives of well-known people who have a simple past like a common man. The reason behind such an attitude is the organizers wanted to highlight the struggle renowned people had and can inspire the people who admire them. I firmly believe here as a superior aspect to get influenced by the great personalities to achieve our goals. On the one hand, prominent persons are not hailing by birth, but because of their hard work, dedication, and determination, they are into the news racecourse. For example, a prevailing actor, Mr. Chiranjeevi from the south of India, is known for his excellence in western dance and acting performances. His smile, attitude makes huge people respond. His social responsibilities included eye donation camps and blood bank organizations. Hence, all over the states, his supporters contributed to public services. On the other hand, some people, who take it in the other way, just for fun, enjoy the gossips around famous people. It becomes entertainment for them to lead a conversation. Also, some inspirations may even lead to death. For example, the world most popular, Baahubali film, made teenagers get involved in small combats. However, nevertheless, the famous person's past does make a lot of difference in individuals. Many social applications like Twitter, Facebook, currently, indulged in a quick spread of the media across the globe. I finally conclude that media at present have been hiking the news for a good cause, and people take it as an encouragement. There are many such famed persons in our country which includes political industry, film industry, and technological industry.
In the modern era, the broadcasting channels all over the world are keener into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a simple past like a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. The reason behind such an attitude is the organizers wanted to highlight the struggle renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had and can inspire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who admire them. I
firmly
believe here as a superior aspect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the great personalities to achieve our goals.

On the one hand, prominent persons are not hailing by birth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, dedication, and determination, they are into the news racecourse.
For example
, a prevailing actor, Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chiranjeevi
from the south of India,
is known
for his excellence in western dance and acting performances. His smile, attitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respond. His social responsibilities included eye donation camps and blood bank organizations.
Hence
, all over the states, his supporters contributed to public services.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who take it in the other way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fun, enjoy the gossips around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It becomes entertainment for them to lead a conversation.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inspirations may even lead to death.
For example
, the world most popular,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baahubali
film, made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
combats.
However
,
nevertheless
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
person's past does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difference in individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
social applications like Twitter, Facebook,
currently
, indulged in a quick spread of the media across the globe.

I
finally
conclude that media at present have been hiking the news for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cause, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take it as an encouragement. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
such famed persons in our country which includes political industry, film industry, and technological industry.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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