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1 More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes car and other items What are the reasons Do you think it is a positive or negative development v.1

1 More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes car and other items What are the reasons Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 1
Community in urban areas where continuous development of infrastructures and facilities are abundant, some people are debating whether to use open spaces for planting trees or constructing houses. I totally agree that we should have more green areas rather than having more houses in cities and towns. This essay will provide some cases and examples to support my point of view. On the one hand, shelter is a basic requirement for life. Housing is also essential for any country, hoping to develop the economy as workers have access to affordable homes. With the increasing population and lack of houses in urban areas, it will greatly raise rental priced due to the increase demand in housing, which tend people to be living in most congested places which can be detrimental to health. On the other hand, the benefits of growing more green spaces in town are indisputable. Firstly, because trees produce oxygen, which can counteract against heavy pollution in cities and create a better quality of air. As a result, trees and green areas generate a peaceful environment which promotes better living condition and mental health. Secondly, it also reduces noise pollution thanks to leaves’ capacity in sound distributing. It is obvious that more people can enjoy their neighbourhoods and reduce of stress after having a rough day of work which not only boost performance at work but increases their productivity as well. In conclusion, building a house is very important, but from my point of view, I believe it is more considerable in planting more trees in those areas.
Community in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where continuous development of infrastructures and facilities are abundant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are debating whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
open spaces for planting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
or constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we should have more green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in cities and towns. This essay will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases and examples to support my point of view.

On the one hand, shelter is a basic requirement for life. Housing is
also
essential for any country, hoping to develop the economy as workers have access to affordable homes. With the increasing population and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, it will
greatly
raise rental priced due to the increase demand in housing, which tend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be living in most congested places which can be detrimental to health.

On the other hand
, the benefits of growing more green spaces in town are indisputable.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
produce oxygen, which can counteract against heavy pollution in cities and create a better quality of air.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
generate a peaceful environment which promotes better living condition and mental health.
Secondly
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
noise pollution thanks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
’ capacity in sound distributing. It is obvious that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after having a rough day of work which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boost performance at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
increases their productivity
as well
.

In conclusion
, building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from my point of view, I believe it is more considerable in planting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1 More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes car and other items What are the reasons Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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