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More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, it has been believed by many people that boys and girls must get education in a different school environment. On the other hand, co- education preferred over single schooling. In my perspective, both are equally important and actually needed to ameliorate the overall development in both the sex. This essay will delve into both the aspects with relevant examples in support of my view. To commence with, In mixed schools the fear of the opposite sex has been found very less. To continue with, boys and girls are able to perform as a team and handle the situation with aplomb which leads to better physical as well as mental growth. Not only this, but also it has been observed that the respect towards each other grows and they able to understand the real meaning of friendship altogether. According to experts, people those who belong to mixed schools are found more co-operative in working ambience compared to single schools. Hence, it's crucial to go through training in such school which actually brings more zest and confidence. Moreover, the single sex schools are having their own value. To exemplify, a boy or a girl score marks with flying colours indeed. Furthermore, students are more involved to studies and according to the recent empirical research, it has been found that each year toppers mostly belong to the single sex institute. Having said that, there are some shortcomings are also associated with single schooling, for instance, the ego as well as connection errors which are actually found lethal for working careers in a long run. Nevertheless, it's really important to get rid over gender biases and work with hand in hand. In a nutshell, weighing both sides of the argument, I strongly opine that the co - schooling is indispensable compared to single schooling. Its actual need of the hour to break the concept of gender differences. In essence, to be very honest, education with self respect is necessary.
Nowadays, it has
been believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that boys and girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment.
On the other hand
, co- education preferred over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
. In my perspective, both are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and actually needed to ameliorate the
overall
development in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
. This essay will delve into both the aspects with relevant examples in support of my view.

To commence with, In mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
the fear of the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less. To continue with, boys and girls are able to perform as a team and handle the situation with aplomb which leads to better physical
as well
as mental growth. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it has
been observed
that the respect towards each other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grows and
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
able to understand the real meaning of friendship altogether. According to experts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
those who belong to mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
more co-operative in working ambience compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Hence
, it's crucial to go through training in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which actually brings more zest and confidence.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value. To exemplify, a boy or a girl score marks with flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
indeed
.
Furthermore
, students are more involved to studies and according to the recent empirical research, it has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
that each year toppers
mostly
belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sex
institute. Having said that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortcomings are
also
associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
,
for instance
, the ego
as well
as connection errors which are actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
lethal for working careers in a long run.
Nevertheless
, it's
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid over gender biases and work with hand in hand.

In a nutshell, weighing both sides of the argument, I
strongly
opine that the co
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is indispensable compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
. Its actual need of the hour to break the concept of gender differences. In essence, to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
honest, education with
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self respect
is necessary.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people want to buy famous brands with clothes, car and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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