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More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Currently, people have a tendency to buy products from valuable brands. There are numerous reasons for this and in my opinion, this trend will bring about several benefits. First of all, people tend to purchase goods from popular brands as they will have superior quality when compared with others. Take Gucci, for example. Before it produces a commodity, the company goes through a great number of complex and professional processes from choosing raw materials, designing ideas, creating models and finally, packing. Hence, clothes and accessories from Gucci are of excellent quality and can last for years. Another point I want to cover is that consumers may enjoy displaying their wealth. To illustrate, the high-end products are not only exorbitant, but also difficult to gain. Specifically, some need to order beforehand and the customers are required to wait for a long time to receive them such as hand-made leather belts and natural perfumes from Hermes. Therefore, if a person owns these kinds of valuable and luxurious merchandise. , people can know how wealthy, he is. In my view, the dominance of famous brands has some advantages. The worth mentioning here is that this is the opportunity for designers to grow. To clarify, humans’ demands change rapidly, and well-known brands need new designs for attracting their customers as well as being a leader in the fashion market. Therefore, young adults who love fashion design will have more job opportunities to embark on this thriving industry. Additionally, this inclination is a motivation for individuals to earn money. If they want to own these products, which represent success and prosperity in society nowadays, they need to have a generous budget by working diligently. Ultimately, this can serve as an incentive to push everyone to strive and contribute more to economic and social development. In conclusion, the public is inclined towards buying products from famous brands due to their outstanding quality and the desire to show their social status. Although I do not deny the downside of this trend that would cause people to be addicted and spend money without careful consideration, I believe the positives definitely outweigh the negative.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. There are numerous reasons for this and in my opinion, this trend will bring about several benefits.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
as they will have superior quality when compared with others. Take Gucci,
for example
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
it produces a commodity, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
goes through a great number of complex and professional processes from choosing raw materials, designing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, creating models and
finally
, packing.
Hence
, clothes and accessories from Gucci are of excellent quality and can last for years. Another point I want to cover is that consumers may enjoy displaying their wealth. To illustrate, the high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exorbitant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
difficult to gain.
Specifically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
need to order beforehand and the customers
are required
to wait for a long time to receive them such as hand-made leather belts and natural perfumes from Hermes.
Therefore
, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
these kinds of valuable and luxurious merchandise.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can know how wealthy, he is.

In my view, the dominance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages. The worth mentioning here is that this is the opportunity for designers to grow. To clarify, humans’ demands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
rapidly
, and well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
need new designs for attracting their customers
as well
as being a leader in the fashion market.
Therefore
, young adults who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
fashion design will have more job opportunities to embark on this thriving industry.
Additionally
, this inclination is a motivation for individuals to earn money. If they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which represent success and prosperity in society nowadays, they need to have a generous budget by working
diligently
.
Ultimately
, this can serve as an incentive to push everyone to strive and contribute more to economic and social development.

In conclusion
, the public
is inclined
towards buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
due to their outstanding quality and the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their social status. Although I do not deny the downside of this trend that would cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be addicted
and spend money without careful consideration, I believe the positives definitely outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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