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More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions? v.1

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions? v. 1
An increasing number of people in developing nations are buying motorcars for the first time. The primary problem of this phenomenon is increased air pollution caused by exhaust fumes and the most viable solution is to educate their citizens about the dangers of polluting the atmosphere. The most obvious problem associated with an increase in car ownership in emerging markets is the deterioration of the quality of the air. That is to say that as more people buy private vehicles they use fewer non-polluting modes of transportation, such as bikes and walking, and instead burn fossil fuels in order to power their vehicles. For example, it is estimated that 5 million new motorists will take to the roads in China in the next few years. This results in millions of tonnes of carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide being released into the air. A long term solution to this predicament is to educate young people about the dangers of polluting the air that we breathe. Children in schools could be taught about how to reduce their CO2 footprint by using public transport or car pooling. They are also likely to teach their parents about the things they learned at school and adults will also be influenced by this initiative. For example, school children in California were taught about the consequences of driving cars excessively and this has resulted in nearly 50% of people now sharing rides together instead of driving solo. In conclusion, many more people in poorer countries are now driving their own cars resulting in huge amounts of greenhouse gases being expelled into the atmosphere and the best way to curb this dilemma is to teach the public how to use their cars more responsibly.
An increasing number of
people
in developing nations are buying motorcars for the
first
time. The primary problem of this phenomenon
is increased
air pollution caused by exhaust fumes and the most viable solution is to educate their citizens about the
dangers
of polluting the atmosphere.

The most obvious problem associated with an increase in
car
ownership in emerging markets is the deterioration of the quality of the air.
That is
to say that as more
people
buy
private vehicles they
use
fewer non-polluting modes of transportation, such as bikes and walking, and
instead
burn fossil fuels in order to power their vehicles.
For example
, it
is estimated
that 5 million new motorists will take to the roads in China in the
next
few years. This results in millions of tonnes of carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide
being released
into the air.

A long term solution to this predicament is to educate young
people
about the
dangers
of polluting the air that we breathe. Children in schools could
be taught
about how to
reduce
their CO2 footprint by using public transport or
car
pooling. They are
also
likely to teach their parents about the things they learned at school and adults will
also
be influenced
by this initiative.
For example
, school children in California
were taught
about the consequences of driving
cars
excessively
and this has resulted in
nearly
50% of
people
now
sharing rides together
instead
of driving solo.

In conclusion
,
many
more
people
in poorer countries are
now
driving their
own
cars
resulting in huge amounts of greenhouse gases
being expelled
into the atmosphere and the best way to curb this dilemma is to teach the public how to
use
their
cars
more
responsibly
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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