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More and more people do online shopping. Why is this the situation? What is the effect of online shopping on shops and communities? v.1

More and more people do online shopping. Why is this the situation? What is the effect of online shopping on shops and communities? v. 1
It is a well known fact that online shopping is becoming more approved day by day. More and more individuals use to do the shopping online website for purchasing valuable items like technology products, groceries, clothes, shoes and many more, as they consider that it is a comfortable way of buying new items as well as up to date. There are many causes with this occur, which I will put light online shopping of effects on shops as well as the world in the following paragraphs before any specific conclusion. Since the online shopping comes into the world, people buy products. There are many advantages of online shopping. First of all, it is a convenient method for shopping because people know very well. Shopkeepers cheat to their clients with rise the price of things, which is available in the shop. Some people are not able to approach the products. They have to opt the online shopping for bringing the new items. It has not only saved the money, but also obtain the some discount. When people buy anything from online shopping, they collect the cash back if is offered by the online shopping websites. Because of this, people tend to choose online shopping. On the flip side, when people book any things from the online shopping, they have to wait for achieving the products like as, firstly a party package the products and ship to the store near the clients of the area. If all the work have collected, then approximately after the 3-4 days they able to get the product. Consequently, in these days any workers of the association can change with duplicate products so it is not only squander the times, but also give the fake products, which people cannot return to the company and not able to achieve the wage return. In addition to it, in the era of internet, many people love to use the hacker apps, when people paid the property at the time. There are higher chances of hack their credit card. Their fund visible in the account of the bank. Therefore, it is a negative impact on the people. Besides this, the demand of online shopping is increasing. Its influence on the shops of the community. Their things go waste and suffer some losses, they are not able to fulfil their dreams and needs of their family members. There are many chances of increasing population of the employment, which is determined for the nation. To conclude, I would say that every coin has two aspects. So that, online shopping has both positive and negative influences of the club. However, I deem that it has more negative impacts on the people and the nation. Although the demand of online shopping will be rose in the following years, yet there will be available few shops in every community as well.
It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming more approved day by day. More and more individuals
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
website for purchasing valuable items like technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, groceries, clothes, shoes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, as they consider that it is a comfortable way of buying new items as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as up to date. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes with this occur, which I will put light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
of effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the world in the following paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any specific conclusion.

Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
into the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is a convenient method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. Shopkeepers cheat to their clients with rise the price of things, which is available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to approach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
opt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
for bringing the new items. It has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saved the money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
obtain the
Did you mean "same"?
some
discount. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, they collect the cash back if
is offered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

On the flip side, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
book any things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for achieving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like as,
firstly
a party package the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and ship to the store near the clients of the area. If all the work have collected, then approximately after the 3-4 days
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Consequently
, in these days any workers of the association can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with duplicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
squander the times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give the fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot return to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to achieve the wage return.
In addition
to it, in the era of internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the hacker apps, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
paid the property at the time. There are higher chances of hack their credit card. Their fund visible in the account of the bank.
Therefore
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Besides
this, the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is increasing. Its influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
of the community. Their things go waste and suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
losses, they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to fulfil their dreams and needs of their family members. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances of increasing population of the employment, which
is determined
for the nation.

To conclude
, I would say that every coin has two aspects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of the club.
However
, I deem that it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the nation. Although the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will be rose in the following years,
yet
there will be available few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in every community as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people do online shopping. Why is this the situation? What is the effect of online shopping on shops and communities? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
475 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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