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More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.8

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 8
To commute from one place to another, most people prefer their own cars. This complete ignorance on public transport may cause problems. This essay will highlight each and every issue, followed by an appropriate solution. To begin with, traffic congestion is the biggest concern. When roads are flooded with cars round the clock, their condition will also suffer. What's more, if the roads are to be repaired before the prescribed time, then it could hit the economy. Secondly, the more cars on the roads, the more fuel will be wasted and consequently, release more harmful gases which deteriorate the quality level of wind. Furthermore, this polluted air cause many health problems like asthma and lung cancer. For example, in Delhi, the quality of breeze is very bad that more than half of the people living in this city are suffering from serious diseases. Moreover, the revenue generated by the government comes majorly from the transportation facilities like trains and buses. Think of the situation when no passenger will be there on these public transport, the budget of the states will be dismantled totally. This will create huge problems in the life of poor people also who use Government transport for travelling. Now, what the Head of the States must think about these concerns. Firstly, the concerned departments must prioritise the needs of the public. For example, the higher authorities should focus on two determinants like cleanliness and safety. Many shameful incidents happen in trains and buses. Secondly, the odd-even formula should be implemented throughout the country to reduce the traffic on the roads, thus improving the quality of the air and consequently, the health of the people will not suffer. To conclude, the government should cooperate with the public and in return, the latter also. In my opinion, strict policies should be implemented so that the pollution level will be decreased and the health of the inhabitants will not affect badly.
To commute from one place to another, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars. This complete ignorance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport may cause problems. This essay will highlight each and every issue, followed by an appropriate solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, traffic congestion is the biggest concern. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are flooded
with cars round the clock, their condition will
also
suffer. What's more, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are to
be repaired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the prescribed time, then it could hit the economy.
Secondly
, the more cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, the more fuel will
be wasted
and
consequently
, release more harmful gases which deteriorate the quality level of wind.
Furthermore
, this polluted air cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems like asthma and lung cancer.
For example
, in Delhi, the quality of breeze is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
that more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in this city are suffering from serious diseases.

Moreover
, the revenue generated by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
majorly
from the transportation facilities like trains and buses.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
of the situation when no passenger will be there on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport, the budget of the states will
be dismantled
totally
. This will create huge problems in the life of poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
transport for travelling.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, what the Head of the States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about these concerns.
Firstly
, the concerned departments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
For example
, the higher authorities should focus on two determinants like cleanliness and safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
shameful incidents happen in trains and buses.
Secondly
, the odd-even formula should
be implemented
throughout the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
thus
improving the quality of the air and
consequently
, the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not suffer.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should cooperate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and in return, the latter
also
. In my opinion, strict policies should
be implemented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the pollution level will
be decreased
and the health of the inhabitants will not affect
badly
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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