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More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v.1

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 1
Nowadays many people depend on private cars to commute around cities. This development creates multiple issues that affect the environment and our health. In this essay I will enumerate some of these problems and propose some solutions to overcome it. To begin with, one of the major issues created by over-dependence on cars is air pollution. The exhausted fossil fuel from cars engines affects the quality of the air. Such an effect is not only harmful to the environment, but it also affects our health. In fact, recent studies found that the prevalence of asthma and other respiratory diseases have increased significantly over the past years. Furthermore, valuable time of our life is been wasted daily in traffic congestion. This time could have been utilized in a more productive way if we could avoid such delay and reach our destination faster. Lastly, dependence on cars has made us less active and contribute to the sedentary lifestyle many people are living today. For example, my brother always uses his car to go to the supermarket, when it actually five minutes away on foot from our home. Fortunately, there are many ways to solve this problem. First, people should start using eco-friendly alternative means of transportation such as bicycles. This will not only help in protecting the environment, but it is also good for their health and wellbeing. Second, the government can improve public transport services in the city, so people will start using it instead of their private cars. This will help in reducing traffic congestion. Moreover, they could increase the price of fuel so people will limit the usage of their private cars. To conclude, the over-reliance on the private vehicle has a detrimental effect on our environment and health. However, there are many ways to tackle these problems.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to commute around cities. This development creates multiple issues that affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In this essay I will enumerate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these problems and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to overcome it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the major issues created by over-dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is air pollution. The exhausted fossil fuel from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
engines affects the quality of the air. Such an effect is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
affects our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In fact, recent studies found that the prevalence of asthma and other respiratory diseases have increased
significantly
over the past years.
Furthermore
, valuable time of our life
is been
wasted daily in traffic congestion. This time could have
been utilized
in a more productive way if we could avoid such delay and reach our destination faster.
Lastly
, dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has made us less active and contribute to the sedentary lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, my brother always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to go to the supermarket, when it actually five minutes away on foot from our home.

Fortunately
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to solve this problem.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using eco-friendly alternative means of transportation such as bicycles. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. Second, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public transport services in the city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it
instead
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing traffic congestion.
Moreover
, they could increase the price of fuel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will limit the usage of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
cars.

To conclude
, the over-reliance on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
vehicle has a detrimental effect on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to tackle these problems.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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