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Some people say that increasing prices of petrol is the best way to reduce traffic jams and pollution. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that increasing prices of petrol is the best way to reduce traffic jams and pollution. v. 1
In contemporary society, traffic and contamination become overwhelming problems. Some people hold the view that the most effective method to solving these problems is to raise the price of petrol. From my perspective, despite an increase of petrol price can somehow mitigate the environment and traffic issues, other remedies should be adapted to cope with those problems as well. Admittedly, the rise in petrol price can, somehow, alleviate the traffic congestion and contamination problems. To begin with, increase in price will lead to a reduction in the number of private vehicles. This is because the exorbitantly high price is affordable to progressively more consumers, which leads to decrease in sale number of cars and other private vehicles. Consequently, less emissions which lead to severe air pollution will be produced and it will also reduce the pressure of rush hour. However, other methods can be adopted to encounter those problems. To start with, governments should pour more expenditure in innovations of nuclear cars or vehicles that are driven by the tide or light, which will lead to less car contaminations and emissions that are toxic and destroy the ozone layer. Therefore, there will be less remaining environmental issues. Also, government should encourage people to opt for public transportations like undergrounds. Having reduced the number of people using buses and private cars, it will alleviate the pressure of traffic congestions. In a nutshell, I harbour the opinion that all kinds of remedies should be taken to tackle these traffic and environmental issues because raising the price of petrol is merely a short term solutions, long term solutions like other means of transportation should be adopted equivalently.
In contemporary society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and contamination become overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that the most effective method to solving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
. From my perspective, despite an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
can somehow mitigate the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
remedies should
be adapted
to cope with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as well
.

Admittedly
, the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
can, somehow, alleviate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and contamination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to a reduction in the number of private vehicles. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
exorbitantly
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is affordable to
progressively
more consumers, which leads to decrease in sale number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
private vehicles.
Consequently
,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun emissions is countable.
less
emissions which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to severe air pollution will
be produced
and it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure of rush hour.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods can
be adopted
to encounter those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should pour more expenditure in innovations of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
or vehicles that
are driven
by the tide or light, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
Possible spelling mistake found.
contaminations
and emissions that are toxic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the ozone layer.
Therefore
, there will be less remaining environmental issues.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to opt for public transportations like undergrounds. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using buses and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, it will alleviate the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions.

In a nutshell, I
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbour' is British English.
harbour
the opinion that all kinds of remedies should
be taken
to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and environmental issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is
merely
a short term solutions, long term solutions like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of transportation should
be adopted
equivalently
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that increasing prices of petrol is the best way to reduce traffic jams and pollution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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