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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v.39

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 39
Technology is the implementation of scientific knowledge to fulfil human purpose. It has made an enormous benefit in meeting the human necessities. However, it has changed the discourse of the way in which people communicate with each other. This essay will explain in what procedure has the relationships impacted by the automation, and how this has become the positive and negative development in the interaction with each other? To begin with, technology has made a profound effect on the relationship of a person with each other. Firstly, it has made relation more and more stranded because of excessive use of social media. For example, a research study suggests that the usage of social apps such as: Whatsapp and Facebook has made people so addicted that no one in family talk to each other to ask about how was their day? Everyone is busy in chatting and viewing their profile status. Secondly, its excessive application has caused the disturbance among the romantic couple. This is exemplified by the poll of 2014 pew research centre that out of four couples, three couple’s relationship has been distracted by application of mobile phones. Overall, technology has caused the disturbance among the relationship of people because of excessive usage and the distraction of smart phones. To explain whether, the use of computers and smart phones have made positive or negative progress on human relationship. It seems to me that it has made the negative impact on people’s mental health. For instance, heavy use of social media has significantly risen the depression rate among the adult as suggested by the study of good therapy. So, technology has made a negative impact on people because of psychological effect on people’s health. In conclusion, technology has accomplished the human goals in this fast pace moving world. While, it has affected the relationship of people among each other because of excessive usage of social media and distraction among the couple’s relationship. This essay explained why the technology has brought the negative development among humans because of impacting their mental health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is the implementation of scientific knowledge to fulfil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
purpose. It has made an enormous benefit in meeting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
necessities.
However
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the discourse of the way in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in what procedure has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
impacted by the automation, and how this has become the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development in the interaction with each other?

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made a profound effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
of a person with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Firstly
, it has made relation more and more stranded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.
For example
, a research study suggests that the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps such as:
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
and Facebook has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addicted that no one in family talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to ask about how was their day? Everyone is busy in chatting and viewing their profile status.
Secondly
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
application has caused the disturbance among the romantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
. This
is exemplified
by the poll of 2014 pew research
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
that out of four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
, three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'couple' seems to be countable, so consider using: "couples".
couple
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
has
been distracted
by application of mobile phones.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused the disturbance among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
usage and the distraction of smart phones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
whether, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and smart phones have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
progress on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. It seems to me that it has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental health.
For instance
, heavy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has
significantly
risen the depression rate among the adult as suggested by the study of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
therapy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of psychological effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has accomplished the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
goals in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace moving world. While, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
among each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excessive
usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and distraction among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of impacting their mental health.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 39

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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