Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v.12

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 12
More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? The increasing number of people move from cities seeking for a higher standard of living, therefore city inhabitants face problems, such as the exorbitant price for housing and high rates of unemployment. However, the government can take action to tackle this issue. As the number of city dwellers grows in most major cities, there has been a considerable demand for housing. At present, the cost of land in a metropolitan area is exorbitant, which makes the price for housing unaffordable for most citizens. This forces them to make trade-offs and choose to live in more crowded housing or commute farther to work. In addition, high employment rates can also be a problem as demand in the job market outpaces supply. People migrating from rural areas usually lack sufficient education and skills, which leads to greater competition in the job market. As a result, working condition deteriorates and wages become considerably lower. Turning to possible solutions, government investment in establishing high-rocketed buildings will curb the high cost of property in the urban area and improve the accessibility of affordable housing for metropolitan residents. Another way is to develop a residential area in suburban zones to reduce high density in the urban centres. This will ensure a higher standard of living in terms of less strained infrastructure and availability of space for outdoor facilities. To struggle with unemployment, new jobs opportunities must be created, for example, by setting up new factories. By doing this, new working places will be generated and unemployment rates will become lower. Another solution is to reduce the working week to thirty-five hours. This will force employers to engage more staff and therefore more people will be able to find employment. In conclusion, horizontal and vertical expansion of the city, creating more jobs and reducing the working week can solve the problem of expensive housing and unemployment correspondingly.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in search of a better life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
city life can be
extremely
difficult.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Explain
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
difficulties of living in a city. How can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
urban life better for everyone?

The increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
seeking for a higher standard of living,
therefore
city inhabitants face problems, such as the exorbitant price for housing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take action to tackle this issue.

As the number of city dwellers grows in most major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there has been a considerable demand for housing. At present, the cost of land in a metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is exorbitant, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the price for housing unaffordable for most citizens. This forces them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
trade-offs and choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in more crowded housing or commute farther to work.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
employment rates can
also
be a problem as demand in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market outpaces supply.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
migrating from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
usually
lack sufficient education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which leads to greater competition in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
condition deteriorates and wages become
considerably
lower.

Turning to possible solutions,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
investment in establishing high-rocketed buildings will curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
cost of property in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the accessibility of affordable housing for metropolitan residents. Another way is to develop a residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in suburban zones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
density in the urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. This will ensure a higher standard of living in terms of less strained infrastructure and availability of space for outdoor facilities. To struggle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be created
,
for example
, by setting up new factories. By doing this, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
places will
be generated
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rates will become lower. Another solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
week to thirty-five hours. This will force employers to engage more staff and
therefore
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to find employment.

In conclusion
, horizontal and vertical expansion of the city, creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
week can solve the problem of expensive housing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
correspondingly
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts