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More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v.11

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 11
At the present time, although living in the cities, maybe harder than the living in the rural areas, many people are moving to various cities in order to find a better life. These days, according to some important reasons, so many people are migrating to the urban areas. However, there exist some common problems to live in the cities that they make people's living harder. Firstly, make a living in the urban areas is the major problem on account of the prizes. As especially in some country's economy increases, so the most of the products become highly expensive. That is a basic trouble that people come across with it. Secondly, the other main difficulty of living in the city is a traffic congestion. Actually, it is almost the biggest issue of all countries that they suffer from the traffic jam every day. Finally, migrating of human beings to the cities causes an overpopulation. It is known that while people are using the products, the environment is contaminated by people's waste. For all that, it is important for the government to take some measures in order to polish off these problems. For instance, precaution for the liver problem, the government can give more profitable jobs for the people that they could make a living easily. Some measures for the traffic congestion can be taken by using bicycles instead of the cars. In addition, protecting of the environment is the main responsibility of human beings, but it is better to take some measures that people couldn't pollute the nature, such as giving a penalty. In conclusion, although people have some difficulties with living in the cities, there also exist some solutions that the government can solve these problems.
At the present time, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, maybe harder than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the rural areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to find a better life.

These days, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating to the urban areas.
However
, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
harder.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the urban areas is the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
on account of the prizes. As
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country's economy increases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the most of the products become
highly
expensive.
That is
a basic trouble that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across with it.

Secondly
, the other main difficulty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city is a traffic congestion. Actually, it is almost the biggest issue of all countries that they suffer from the traffic jam every day.
Finally
, migrating of human beings to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
causes an overpopulation. It
is known
that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using the products, the environment
is contaminated
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's waste. For all that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures in order to polish off these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For instance
, precaution for the liver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can give more profitable jobs for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures for the traffic congestion can
be taken
by using bicycles
instead
of the cars.
In addition
, protecting of the environment is the main responsibility of human beings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is better to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
couldn't pollute the nature, such as giving a penalty.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there
also
exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone? v. 11

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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