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More and more people are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

More and more people are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In this fast changing modern era, technology upgrade day by day and people of each age-group are using many devices. The numerous parents are encouraging their kinds to play computer games because they believe with the help of this, they can develop technology skills. I would like to put shine on the merits and demerits of playing on computer in subsequently paragraphs. To begin with, there are several reasons which benefit the children in developing their skills while using electronic devices. Firstly, playing on gadgets help kinds in raising the level of their digital understanding which is useful in their life. Furthermore, in today's world most of the school project work required, such appliances like laptop and tablet etc. . For instance, latest studies prove that few assignments are done by using a computer which need technology intelligence of a child. Lastly, games which the youngster play on digital gadgets developed their graphical knowledge as well as increasing their creativity. On the contrary, excess usage of these games also have a negative effect. First and foremost, it adversely harms our health. For example, recent research study that most of the teenagers nowadays are using mobile phone a lot which result in reducing their eye sight. In addition, child's concentration power decline and because of this, they are not able to focus on study and their career. Last but not least, it decreases their communication power to interact with people, which sometimes affect their behaviour also. To encapsulate the whole notion, I gather that everything has two sides that is advantages and disadvantages. Digital games benefiting the kids. However, if they use over the limit, then it has awful outcomes as well.
In this
fast
changing modern era, technology upgrade day by day and
people
of each age-group are using
many
devices. The numerous parents are encouraging their kinds to play computer
games
because
they believe with the
help
of this, they can develop technology
skills
. I would like to put shine on the merits and demerits of playing on computer in
subsequently
paragraphs.

To
begin
with, there are several reasons which benefit the children in developing their
skills
while using electronic devices.
Firstly
, playing on gadgets
help
kinds in raising the level of their digital understanding which is useful in their life.
Furthermore
, in
today
's world most of the school project work required, such appliances like laptop and tablet etc.
.
For instance
,
latest
studies prove that few assignments
are done
by using a computer which need technology intelligence of a child.
Lastly
,
games
which the youngster play on digital gadgets developed their graphical knowledge
as well
as increasing their creativity.

On the contrary
, excess usage of these
games
also
have a
negative
effect.
First
and foremost, it
adversely
harms our health.
For example
, recent research study that most of the
teenagers
nowadays are using mobile phone a lot which result in reducing their
eye sight
.
In addition
, child's concentration power decline and
because of this
, they are not able to focus on study and their career. Last
but
not least, it decreases their communication power to interact with
people
, which
sometimes
affect their
behaviour
also
.

To encapsulate the whole notion, I gather that everything has two sides
that is
advantages and disadvantages. Digital
games
benefiting the kids.
However
, if they
use
over the limit, then it has awful outcomes
as well
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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