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some people think that giving aid to poor countries has positive effect, while others believe that international aid should be stopped. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion v.1

some people think that giving aid to poor countries has positive effect, while others believe that international aid should be stopped. 1
People have different views about whether or not international aid should be continued. Those who support international aid believe that it can benefit poor countries as wee as rich ones. International aid contributes to infrastructure improvements in poor countries. For example, the world bank, whose key members are mostly rich countries, provides poor countries with low-interest loans each year. These countries can improve their infrastructure, such as schools, hospitals and public and food aid can help to save lives because in these countries, many people suffer from starvation and lack basic health care. Rich countries that provide generous aid to poor countries are also regarded as responsible members of the international community and are respected by other countries. People who think that international aid should be stopped tend to focus on the negative effects it may have. A common concern is its fairness. Even in the most developed countries, there are people living below the poverty line. Government spending on aid for poor people in other countries may be unfair to poor people in their own country Some aid is even used to serve purposed for which it is not intended. For instance, in some countries, foreign aid has been used by their government to purchase weapons or has led to more corruption. Sometimes, countries that receive international aid also find the aid unfair because it is tied to political objectives. Personally, I think it is important that the aid provided is used for the intended purpose. If the donor country cannot ensure this, then the aid should be reduced, if not stopped altogether.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
should
be continued
.

Those who support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
believe that it can benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as wee as rich ones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
contributes to infrastructure improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world bank
, whose key members are
mostly
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with low-interest loans each year. These
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countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their infrastructure, such as schools, hospitals and public and food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in these
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countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
suffer from starvation and lack basic health care. Rich
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countries
that provide generous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
also
regarded as responsible members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
community and
are respected
by other countries.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
tend to focus on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects it may have. A common concern is its fairness. Even in the most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living below the poverty line.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may be unfair to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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aid
is even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to serve purposed for which it is not intended.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
, foreign
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aid
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
weapons or has led to more corruption.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that receive
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
also
find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is tied
to political objectives.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
provided is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the intended purpose. If the donor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
cannot ensure this, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, if not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
altogether.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that giving aid to poor countries has positive effect, while others believe that international aid should be stopped. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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