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In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v.9

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 9
Nowadays, we can see tons of private vehicles which have been used in order to get to the workplace, university, and other destinations. Furthermore, we are aware of using too much gas or other types of fuels can brutally hurt the environment. So, politicians tend to legislate laws to reduce the wide usage of cars like increasing on the tax fee of individual cars. Decreasing the usage of cars, mainly leads to a fallen rate of pollution. Also, it makes two terrific sources of saving money, which is taxes that will be taken from the owners. Moreover, the need of spending money on controlling the pollution will be decreased drastically. So, governments can invest these huge amounts of income on extending the public transportation systems which are its benefit is not only for the people who do not have cars, but also whole society is the beneficiary since everyone can get wherever they want in the least time and without out the stress of driving due to there is no traffic for public transportation like subways. Furthermore, the main advantage is helping the Earth and the environment which is a great attempt to maintain the green world. Absolutely, every rose has its thorns. By increasing the levy, it would be a concern about the quality of people’s life. So, if a government would like to enforce a law, it should be aware of the poverty that it can make because a rich group of a society will pay the price. Even though, it has a sharp rising rate. However, in this situation others cannot afford it and the social gap will be considerable. In addition, this economic crisis often deteriorates into social unrest. So rising rate should be based on a wise intelligent. For instance, expense should be more for people who whether owning luxury cars or more than one car. All in one, all attends to developing the public transportation should be appreciated through pollution, which is a worldwide danger over decades. Also, to decrease the traffic jam regard to saving precious time of humankind.
Nowadays, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
tons of private vehicles which have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the workplace, university, and other destinations.
Furthermore
, we are aware of using too much gas or other types of fuels can
brutally
hurt the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, politicians tend to legislate laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the wide usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
like increasing on the tax fee of individual cars.

Decreasing the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
mainly
leads to a fallen rate of pollution.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
two terrific sources of saving money, which is taxes that will
be taken
from the owners.
Moreover
, the need of spending money on controlling the pollution will
be decreased
drastically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can invest these huge amounts of income on extending the public transportation systems which are its benefit is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
whole society is the beneficiary since everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
wherever they want in the least time and
Did you mean "without"?
without out
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of driving due to there is no traffic for public transportation like subways.
Furthermore
, the main advantage is helping the Earth and the environment which is a great attempt to maintain the green world.

Absolutely
, every rose has its thorns. By increasing the levy, it would be a concern about the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would like to enforce a law, it should be aware of the poverty that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a rich group of a society will pay the price.
Even though
, it has a sharp rising rate.
However
, in this situation others cannot afford it and the social gap will be considerable.
In addition
, this economic crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deteriorates into social unrest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
rising rate should
be based
on a wise intelligent.
For instance
, expense should be more for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who whether owning luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
or more than one car.

All in one, all attends to developing the public transportation should
be appreciated
through pollution, which is a worldwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
over decades.
Also
, to decrease the traffic jam regard to saving precious time of humankind.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are advantages and disadvantages of such a solution? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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