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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.30

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 30
With the proliferation of mobility among people, it is very essential to have an efficient public transport system in every country. Among different modes of transport, some countries budget huge amount of money for sophisticated railway tracks, whereas others only consider improving their current public transport. In my view, it depends on countries' financial capacity and necessity of such advanced mode of transportation. On the one hand, it is very expensive to implement high-speed railway tracks and is highly sophisticated. Developed countries, like Japan, implemented bullet train system mainly to obliterate the hurdles faced by passengers travelling between distant cities. In fact, developing countries are also planning to implement the same. For instance, In India, where roads are always congested with traffic, the government is planning to construct a high-speed train system to connect main destinations. On the other hand, Some under developed countries may not have enough finance to fund for such huge projects. Moreover, some places are so thickly populated, that it is very difficult to acquire land for fixing new railway tracks. For example, even though India is planning to build a high speed railway line, laying tracks in densely populated cities, like Chennai and Bangalore, is going to create headaches to the authorities, due to the need for displacement of local people. Furthermore, enhancing waterways are far cheaper and efficient in some states and also can be implemented without displacing local inhabitants; albeit, slower than other modes. To conclude, the financial implications and the need for advanced mode of transports are the reasons behind countries' decisions to launch new railway traffic systems. It is advisable to low-income nations to stick on to the plans of upgrading their existing transport systems.
With the proliferation of mobility among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to have an efficient public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
budget huge amount of money for sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. In my view, it depends on countries' financial capacity and necessity of such advanced mode of transportation.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to implement high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
and is
highly
sophisticated. Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, like Japan, implemented bullet train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
mainly
to obliterate the hurdles faced by passengers travelling between distant cities. In fact, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
also
planning to implement the same.
For instance
, In India, where roads are always congested with traffic, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is planning to construct a high-speed train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
to connect main destinations.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
under developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
finance to fund for such huge projects.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
thickly
populated, that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to acquire land for fixing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
.
For example
,
even though
India is planning to build a high speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
line, laying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
in
densely
populated cities, like Chennai and Bangalore, is going to create headaches to the authorities, due to the need for displacement of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
, enhancing waterways are far cheaper and efficient in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
states and
also
can
be implemented
without displacing local inhabitants; albeit, slower than other modes.

To conclude
, the financial implications and the need for advanced mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
the reasons behind countries' decisions to launch new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
. It is advisable to low-income nations to stick on to the plans of upgrading their existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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