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More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6
In modern life, there are very country has national speech. Some people believe that the significant reason of learning new language is finding a job or vacation in abroad, whereas, others claim that a person become bilingual not only for these reasons. I think, anyone has own purpose to learn a foreign language and work and travel not unique reasons for it. It is proved by scientist that when an individual is aware of two or many speeches, his brain’s left and right hemispheres operates in parallel. When the brain operates in such as status, person can solve understand the concept of such as film or interview faster than monolingual ones. Next, there is an opportunity for multilingual people exploring other cultures. Language is naturally linked with culture. So, while someone learns another language, he can enhance his outlook and psychical attitude. Indeed, most people learn new languages in order to increase their work career. People want to acquire big salaries and make corer ladder. Also, while a person travels, he or she should know communicate in the local language. On the other hand, there are a great number of pupils who try study abroad. Furthermore, knowing foreign language can increase you respect and support toward you. In my country, for example, an employee can be gotten additional revenue by knowing English. In that case, the authority includes a special bonus to his or her salary. So, bilingual people can earn more money rather than his or her colleagues. To sum up, personally, although most people learn new language due to work or destination search, bilingual people can study abroad or increase personal status in society.
In modern life, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
country has national speech.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the significant reason of learning new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is finding a job or vacation in abroad, whereas, others claim that a person become bilingual not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for these reasons. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, anyone has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purpose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and work and travel not unique reasons for it.

It
is proved
by scientist that when an individual is aware of two or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
speeches, his brain’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and right hemispheres operates in parallel. When the brain operates in such as status, person can solve understand the concept of such as film or interview faster than monolingual ones.
Next
, there is an opportunity for multilingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exploring other cultures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
is
naturally
linked with culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, while someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, he can enhance his outlook and psychical attitude.

Indeed
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in order to increase their work career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
want to acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salaries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
corer ladder.
Also
, while a person travels, he or she should
Did you mean "now"?
know
communicate in the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
On the other hand
, there are a great number of pupils who try study abroad.
Furthermore
, knowing foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can increase you respect and support toward you. In my country,
for example
, an employee can
be gotten
additional revenue by knowing English.
In that case
, the authority includes a special bonus to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, bilingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn more money
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
colleagues.

To sum up,
personally
, although most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
due to work or destination search, bilingual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can study abroad or increase personal status in society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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