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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. People today spend so much time doing things they like to do whether than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.410

People today spend so much time doing things they like to do whether than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 410
Some individuals believe raising the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes is the most effective method of increasing road safety. While I accept that this policy is good to some extent, I believe it is not the best because there are much better measures to reduce traffic accidents. It might be a good idea to increase the minimum age required for driving because of some reasons. Firstly, since younger people are usually less mature and less responsible with their manners, they might not be aware of the importance of following the rules. Therefore, it is reasonable to ban them from travelling on the street to prevent them from breaking the law and causing accidents. Secondly, as older people are more experienced, they can know how to react quickly to handle dangerous situations on the road, while younger ones might not be able to. To illustrate, if the brakes of a car suddenly stop working, a young driver might panic, and accidents are more likely to occur. However, I would argue that there are much better methods of ensuring road safety. The first one is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. For example, people who break traffic rules should be required to pay huge fines or be banned permanently from commuting on the street. This makes commuters more likely to respect the law, and traffic accidents can be limited. Another solution is to encourage people to use public transport rather than private vehicles. This can be done by reducing the price and increasing the frequency of buses and tubes to make it more convenient for users. In conclusion, I believe apart from increasing the legal age for driving, there are more effective ways to make sure that travelling on the street is safe for everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe raising the minimum legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cars or riding motorbikes is the most effective method of increasing road safety. While I accept that this policy is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I believe it is not the best
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are much better measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic accidents.

It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to increase the minimum age required for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, since younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
less mature and less responsible with their manners, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be aware of the importance of following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Therefore
, it is reasonable to ban them from travelling on the street to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from breaking the law and causing accidents.
Secondly
, as older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more experienced, they can know how to react
quickly
to handle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations on the road, while younger ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be able to. To illustrate, if the brakes of a car
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
working, a young driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
panic, and accidents are more likely to occur.

However
, I would argue that there are much better methods of ensuring road safety. The
first
one is to have stricter punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
offenders.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who break traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should
be required
to pay huge fines or
be banned
permanently
from commuting on the street. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
commuters more likely to respect the law, and traffic accidents can
be limited
. Another solution is to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport
rather
than private vehicles. This can
be done
by reducing the price and increasing the frequency of buses and tubes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more convenient for users.

In conclusion
, I believe apart from increasing the legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, there are more effective ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that travelling on the street is safe for everyone.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay People today spend so much time doing things they like to do whether than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 410

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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