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The prompt: 1. Some people think that parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. Other people believe? those children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time, Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice. v.1

The prompt: 1. Some people think that parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. Other people believe? those children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time, Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice. v. 1
It is true that when applying for a job, potential candidates with practical skills are valued more than those with only academic qualifications. While I admit that in some cases, experience may come before theoretical knowledge, I do not agree with those who claim that there will not be a need for formal qualifications in the future. Some people speculate that in the future, employers are more likely to overlook candidates’ academic background, not requiring any formal degree. Their strongest argument is that most jobs in the future will be computerized, requiring IT skills from potential employees. It is true that even today when applying for IT-related jobs, candidates’ practical skills and previous work experience are valued higher than their formal qualifications. However, this is not always the case, especially with high-profile IT companies. Most silicon valley technology giants such as Google and Facebook still recognize the importance of academic excellence, requiring job applicants to have a formal degree from top schools in the field. It is also argued that given the popularity of a university degree, most job applicants are on a level playing field. Therefore, future employers are predicted to show preference for practical skills over theoretical knowledge. Nevertheless, in my opinion, for blue-collar jobs, formal qualifications will always remain a minimum requirement, and practical skills will be considered only when the minimum requirements are met. Moreover, it is undeniable that there are some professions that one cannot do away with a university degree. Take, doctors, for example. Without the necessary background knowledge and theory, one cannot apply for a job in this field. In conclusion, while some people feel, given the nature of some professions, future employers may not require an academic degree, I still believe that having theoretical knowledge will remain a fundamental requirement for most blue-collar jobs.
It is true that when applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, potential candidates with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are valued
more than those with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
. While I admit that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, experience may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who claim that there will not be a need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
in the future.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
speculate that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, employers are more likely to overlook candidates’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
background, not requiring any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. Their strongest argument is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
will
be computerized
, requiring IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from potential employees. It is true that even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
when applying for IT-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, candidates’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and previous work experience
are valued
higher than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
.
However
, this is not always the case,
especially
with high-profile IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Most
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
silicon valley
technology giants such as Google and Facebook
still
recognize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
excellence, requiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
applicants to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
from top schools in the field.

It is
also
argued that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the popularity of a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
applicants are on a level playing field.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
employers
are predicted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
preference for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
over theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, for blue-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
will always remain a minimum requirement, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will
be considered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the minimum requirements
are met
.
Moreover
, it is undeniable that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions that one cannot do away with a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. Take, doctors,
for example
. Without the necessary background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and theory, one cannot apply for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in this field.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the nature of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
employers may not require an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, I
still
believe that having theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will remain a fundamental requirement for most blue-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The prompt: 1. Some people think that parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. Other people believe? those children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time, Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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