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university students are increasingly study abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad out weigh the disadvantages. v.1

university students are increasingly study abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad out weigh the disadvantages. v. 1
University students are raised to study foreign land has various pros and cons for their study concern. The main benefits for students studying overseas is the access to better quality of education. The main drawback is that living cost of foreign land is very expensive. In my opinion besides these downsides students studying abroad enjoy better career prospects, achieve their objectives and goals. The positive aspect is that students will get high quality of education. The education system is very fascinating. There are plethora research facilitates however, teachers are very qualified. One of my friend went to foreign lands for completion of their studies. They said that education system of abroad is very superb and teaching facility is fantastic. The student also learns lots of new things and improve their personality. On the downside living cost is very high. Some of the people struggling with expenses like room rent, food, transport, course expense ant their personal expenditure. So they are forced to do part time job while studying. As told earlier, my friend also went for part time job while he was doing his master degree. So this might be extra burden on the student and they spend less time on their subjects. To conclude that studying in overseas has become very common now a day. While studying students will face many barriers. It is in fact that these barriers are the main benefits to improve their personality and mental growth. Because of good quality education they will get better jobs and learn many things.
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are raised
to study foreign land has various pros and cons for their study concern. The main benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas is the access to better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The main drawback is that living cost of foreign land is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. In my opinion
besides
these downsides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad enjoy better career prospects, achieve their objectives and goals.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fascinating. There are plethora research facilitates
however
, teachers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
qualified. One of my friend went to foreign lands for completion of their studies. They said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system of abroad is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
superb and teaching facility is fantastic. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
also
learns lots of new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personality.

On the downside living cost is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggling with expenses like room rent, food, transport, course expense ant their personal expenditure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
are forced
to do
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
earlier, my friend
also
went for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job while he was doing his master degree.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this might be extra burden on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
student and
they spend less time on their subjects.

To conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in overseas has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
barriers. It is in fact that these barriers are the main benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personality and mental growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better jobs and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay university students are increasingly study abroad as part of their studies. do the advantages of studying abroad out weigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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