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More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons? How to solve? v.1

More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons? How to solve? v. 1
It is undeniable that many developed countries have been using nuclear power as a primary source of energy in the modern era. It is opined by some people that an initiative must be taken to utilize it to produce electricity, whereas, others oppose this idea. I believe that the nuclear source is the finest of all for generation of power and to be used as a fuel. To start with, the fossil fuels such as coal, gas and oil are the preferable and traditional sources of energy for some proportion of the population because of the abundance of these materials on the earth. Apparently, these will no longer be still present in the upcoming future and rather be insufficient for proper use. What is more, their end-products will result in polluting the air, water and soil, which would lead to numerous diseases, ailments and anomalies. The other section of individuals, however, gravitates more towards utilizing the nuclear resources. The foremost reason behind this belief is that it is renewable and reusable for the production of electricity, apart from using it as an alternative for non-renewable sources. In addition to this, the results will be long term, along with causing comparatively less pollution than its companions. It is true that even the smallest portion of nuclear elements will produce ten times more amount of power, leaving behind zero residue thereby avoiding any kind of pollution. Thus, this multi-usage factor could bring a revolution in the contemporary world, for instance, in the fields of transportation, electricity, curing incurable diseases and many more. In a nutshell, it is clear that the nuclear force will prove beneficial for mankind at the global aspect that will substitute the non-reusable resources, which obviously will deplete at some point in the future. Therefore, i completely agree with the opinion of utilizing it as the major and cheapest source of power.
It is undeniable that
many
developed countries
have been using nuclear
power
as a primary
source
of energy in the modern era. It
is opined
by
some
people
that an initiative
must
be taken
to utilize it to produce electricity, whereas, others oppose this
idea
. I believe that the nuclear
source
is the finest of all for generation of
power
and to be
used
as a fuel.

To
start
with, the fossil fuels such as coal, gas and oil are the preferable and traditional
sources
of energy for
some
proportion of the population
because
of the abundance of these materials on the earth.
Apparently
, these will no longer be
still
present in the upcoming future and
rather
be insufficient for proper
use
.
What is more
, their
end
-products will result in polluting the air, water and soil, which would lead to numerous diseases, ailments and anomalies.

The other section of individuals,
however
, gravitates more towards utilizing the nuclear resources. The foremost reason behind this belief is that it is renewable and reusable for the production of electricity, apart from using it as an alternative for non-renewable
sources
.
In addition
to this, the results will be long
term
, along with causing
comparatively
less pollution than its companions. It is true that even the smallest portion of nuclear elements will produce ten times more amount of
power
, leaving behind zero residue thereby avoiding any kind of pollution.
Thus
, this multi-usage factor could bring a revolution in the contemporary world,
for instance
, in the fields of transportation, electricity, curing incurable diseases and
many
more.

In a nutshell, it is
clear
that the nuclear force will prove beneficial for mankind at the global aspect that will substitute the non-reusable resources, which
obviously
will deplete at
some
point in the future.
Therefore
,
i
completely
agree
with the opinion of utilizing it as the major and cheapest
source
of
power
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons? How to solve? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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