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Some people hold that we should spend amount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people hold that we should spend amount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. v. 2
Some people argue that money should be spent on human needs rather than on animal species’ protection and preservation. In my opinion, both these areas are so crucial that it would certainly impossible to choose one over another. Money and time should be allowed to spend in the protection of wild animals and endangered species in particular. As stewards of the animal kingdom, we as human have a duty to treat other animals humanely. However, this duty has been usually undermined by the acts of profit-driven and outlaw poachers. Secondly, animals have an important role to play in human survival. Being at the top of the food chain would bring no benefits if all kinds of animal died out since there would be nothing left to serve human purposes of food, entertainment or means of production and so on. There are many parts of the world where our fellow human is desperately expecting our help. Starvation and famine have taken millions’ lives and there some places where basic sanitation means and medicines are still of a luxury that most people cannot afford. Financial aids should be directed towards these regions rather than the welfare of our more distant relatives. In addition, we are faced with more serious existential issues which climate change brings. Earthquakes, tropical floods and droughts happening in a more frequent basic caused serious damages to the property and human lives. Sending disaster relief to help minimize such disastrous consequences would be a more sensible way forward. In conclusion, although there are always urgent needs around the world, we can deny our responsibility to other animal species and the importance of them in our lives. It is a job of government to distribute resources and effort more appropriately and effectively.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that money should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs
rather
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species’ protection and preservation. In my opinion, both these areas are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crucial that it would
certainly
impossible to choose one over another.

Money and time should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to spend in the protection of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and endangered species
in particular
. As stewards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
kingdom, we as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
have a duty to treat other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
humanely
.
However
, this duty has been
usually
undermined by the acts of profit-driven and outlaw poachers.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival. Being at the top of the food chain would bring no benefits if all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out since there would be nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
purposes of food, entertainment or means of production and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world where our fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is
desperately
expecting our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Starvation and famine have taken millions’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places where basic sanitation means and medicines are
still
of a luxury that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot afford. Financial aids should
be directed
towards these regions
rather
than the welfare of our more distant relatives.
In addition
, we
are faced
with more serious existential issues which climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
brings. Earthquakes, tropical floods and droughts happening in a more frequent basic caused serious damages to the property and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Sending disaster relief to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
minimize such disastrous consequences would be a more sensible way forward.

In conclusion
, although there are always urgent needs around the world, we can deny our responsibility to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species and the importance of them in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is a job of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to distribute resources and effort more
appropriately
and
effectively
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people hold that we should spend amount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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