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Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v.7

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v. 7
In recent years, brain drain has experienced a steady growth and become a big problem. There is a great deal of professionals such as doctors and teachers that they are moving from their poorer provincial to the city or the developed countries. This work includes some reasons and solutions which should be made to change. There are two primary reasons why they are leaving their own poorer rustic. First of all is better living standards. When they move to a modern city or countries with many different services and hi-tech gadgets, their lives will be more easy and convenient. Secondly, living in the developed bucolic help them to improve their abilities. Having many good opportunities, they will meet a lot of people with high level education and experienced. It is the time for them to advance their skills, express their potential and specially become more well-informed. Some measures can be taken to change the number of professionals leaving their own homes. An effective solution would be to improve educational standards to reduce the number of people the studies in developing nations. That means government should promote industrialization to increase the living standard of poorer countries. In addition, people should create awareness on the need to join hands and make the poor country to be better. In conclusion, there are some obvious reasons encouraging people to leave their own poorer country. However, we have many solutions to solve this problem to keep balance between poor and developed country in the future.
In recent years, brain drain has experienced a steady growth and become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem. There is a great deal of professionals such as doctors and teachers that they are moving from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
provincial to the city or the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This work includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and solutions which should
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. There are two primary reasons why they are leaving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
rustic.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
is better living standards. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a modern city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
services and hi-tech gadgets, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be more easy and convenient.
Secondly
, living in the developed bucolic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their abilities. Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunities, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with high level education and experienced. It is the time for them to advance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, express their potential and
specially
become more well-informed.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the number of professionals leaving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
homes. An effective solution would be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational standards to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the studies in developing nations. That means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should promote industrialization to increase the living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should create awareness on the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to be better.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious reasons encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions to solve this problem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
balance between poor and developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? v. 7

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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