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Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. v. 2
People often wrangle over the notion of a perfect job in contemporary society. While some are in favour of a job for life, I believe that job satisfaction lends itself more to the modern labour market as will now be discussed. Admittedly, those who argue that job security is an important factor have some solid points. A permanent job gives its holders a sense of security, meaning that no matter how the quality of work, they will wake up the next day safe in the knowledge that they are in a state of employment. This may free them from financial worries and anxiety, because they can rest assured that a constant flow of income will come into their home at the end of the day. The idea of a steady job is therefore attractive to many job seekers, but they should factor in the rapid growth of technology in this digital era. I profoundly believe that the notion of a “safe” job is wrong, given the fact that technology has been replacing innumerable human workers in many industries. It is thus more sensible to argue for job fulfilment instead. When an employee does their dream job, they tend to make real efforts to accomplish work rather than waiting for someone else to push them. They are likely to yield higher productivity and willing to learn new things to improve themselves, all of which contribute to their career growth. Those who find their jobs worth doing tend to have the drive to work and advance fast on their career path. A typical example of this is the case story of Bill Gates, who devoted much of his youth to Microsoft and turned it into a behemoth in the IT industry. In conclusion, the world is always in a constant state of flux. Thus, it is no longer reasonable to hold on a permanent job even if it can give a sense of security to us.
People
often
wrangle over the notion of a perfect
job
in contemporary society. While
some
are in
favour
of a
job
for life, I believe that
job
satisfaction lends itself more to the modern
labour
market as will
now
be discussed
.

Admittedly
, those who argue that
job
security is an
important
factor have
some
solid points. A permanent
job
gives its holders a sense of security, meaning that no matter how the quality of work, they will wake up the
next
day safe in the knowledge that they are in a state of employment. This may free them from financial worries and anxiety,
because
they can rest assured that a constant flow of income will
come
into their home at the
end
of the day. The
idea
of a steady
job
is
therefore
attractive to
many
job
seekers,
but
they should factor in the rapid growth of technology in this digital era. I
profoundly
believe that the notion of a “safe”
job
is
wrong
,
given
the fact that technology has been replacing innumerable human workers in
many
industries.

It is
thus
more sensible to argue for
job
fulfilment
instead
. When an employee does their dream
job
, they tend to
make
real efforts to accomplish work
rather
than waiting for someone else to push them. They are likely to yield higher productivity and willing to learn new things to
improve
themselves, all of which contribute to their career growth. Those who find their
jobs
worth doing tend to have the drive to work and advance
fast
on their career path. A typical example of this is the case story of Bill Gates, who devoted much of his youth to Microsoft and turned it into a behemoth in the IT industry.

In conclusion
, the world is always in a constant state of flux.
Thus
, it is no longer reasonable to hold on a permanent
job
even if it can give a sense of security to us.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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