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Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v.2

Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 2
Travel and tourism industry has developed exponentially in recent decades due to the advancements in air travel and mass advertising. However, certain environmentalists argue that some tourists cause damage to the areas they visit. From my perspective, such issues can be resolved with the assistance of certain preventative measures. There are specific reasons why such tourist attractions are endangered and there can also be potentially negative outcomes in the future. The majority of tourists are unaware of the cultural or geographical significance of some destinations, thereby scribbling on paintings and damaging valuable artefacts. Further, discarded litter has threatened the aesthetic value of such ‘‘spots’’. If such actions continue, some of the unique monuments or ruins will lose their popularity due to diminished value. Consequently, tourism in some regions will not flourish as it used to. Even though people continue to cause such locations harm, the authorities and the public will be able to minimise the damage with certain solutions. Firstly, the officials and the government should raise the public awareness by introducing programs on television and radio. Secondly, legal measures can be taken to discourage people from touching or drawing on historic buildings and relics. Thirdly, fines can be imposed to ensure the cleanliness of certain sites. Finally, monitoring the behaviours of tourists with surveillance cameras in close proximity can be more beneficial to penalise some culprits for their deeds. In conclusion, the increasing number of tourists have become a threat to some locations with actions that are not environmentally friendly. Such negative impact can be minimised when both the authorities and the general public collaborate to preserve these areas.
Travel and tourism industry has developed
exponentially
in recent decades due to the advancements in air travel and mass advertising.
However
,
certain
environmentalists argue that
some
tourists
cause damage to the areas they visit. From my perspective, such issues can
be resolved
with the assistance of
certain
preventative measures.

There are specific reasons why such
tourist
attractions
are endangered
and there can
also
be
potentially
negative
outcomes in the future. The majority of
tourists
are unaware of the cultural or geographical significance of
some
destinations, thereby scribbling on paintings and damaging valuable
artefacts
.
Further
, discarded litter has threatened the aesthetic value of such ‘‘spots’’. If such actions continue,
some of the
unique monuments or ruins will lose their popularity due to diminished value.
Consequently
, tourism in
some
regions will not flourish as it
used
to.

Even though
people
continue to cause such locations harm, the authorities and the public will be able to
minimise
the damage with
certain
solutions.
Firstly
, the officials and the
government
should raise the public awareness by introducing programs on television and radio.
Secondly
, legal measures can
be taken
to discourage
people
from touching or drawing on historic buildings and relics.
Thirdly
, fines can
be imposed
to ensure the cleanliness of
certain
sites.
Finally
, monitoring the
behaviours
of
tourists
with surveillance cameras in
close proximity
can be more beneficial to
penalise
some
culprits for their deeds.

In conclusion
, the increasing number of
tourists
have become a threat to
some
locations with actions that are not
environmentally
friendly. Such
negative
impact can be
minimised
when both the authorities and the
general public
collaborate to preserve these areas.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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