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In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem? v.1

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1
It seems to be an increasingly widespread concern that living standards in big cities are declining. There are several causes of this issue and some solution could be proposed to overcome the problem of city dwellers. To begin with, there are several reasons why living standard in big cities has been becoming worse. First, overpopulation and migration of people from rural to urban areas are the major factors contributing to this phenomenon. Indeed, the fastest growth in population could put further strain on infrastructure and services in big cities, and as a result, individuals usually could not afford basic facilities such as medical treatment, decent accommodation or cleaning drinking water. Secondly, due to hectic schedule and excessive workload, more and more people, particularly young people, do not have a chance to spend quality time with their family and friends. Therefore, it is easy to understand why citizens seem to be becoming more stressful and fatigued nowadays. In order to solve this problem, it is important for government to control the influx of rural migrants by focusing on the development of the countryside. By setting up businesses in rural areas, it would create more employment opportunities and encourage country-dwellers to stay in their hometown rather than moving to megacity for seeking jobs. Besides, civil authority should improve city infrastructure by widening roads, developing affordable accommodation to accommodate an ever-growing number of city dwellers. Last but not least, the authority should construct more recreational facilities like parks, gardens and yoga centers as playgrounds for citizens after extended working hours, and there should be no charge to use them. In sum, several factors lead to the decline in living standard in large cities. We should take effective steps, including developing countryside, improving city infrastructure and building more recreation facilities, to tackle this modern-day problem.
It seems to be an
increasingly
widespread concern that living standards in
big
cities
are declining. There are several causes of this issue and
some
solution could
be proposed
to overcome the problem of city dwellers.

To
begin
with, there are several reasons why living standard in
big
cities
has been becoming worse.
First
, overpopulation and migration of
people
from rural to urban areas are the major factors contributing to this phenomenon.
Indeed
, the fastest growth in population could put
further
strain on infrastructure and services in
big
cities
, and
as a result
, individuals
usually
could not afford basic facilities such as medical treatment, decent accommodation or cleaning drinking water.
Secondly
, due to hectic schedule and excessive workload, more and more
people
,
particularly
young
people
, do not have a chance to spend quality time with their family and friends.
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why citizens seem to be becoming more stressful and fatigued nowadays.

In order to solve this problem, it is
important
for
government
to control the influx of rural migrants by focusing on the development of the countryside. By setting up businesses in rural areas, it would create more employment opportunities and encourage country-dwellers to stay in their hometown
rather
than moving to
megacity
for seeking jobs.
Besides
, civil authority should
improve
city infrastructure by widening roads, developing affordable accommodation to accommodate an ever-growing number of city dwellers. Last
but
not least, the authority should construct more recreational facilities like parks, gardens and yoga centers as playgrounds for citizens after extended working hours, and there should be no charge to
use
them.

In sum, several factors lead to the decline in living standard in large
cities
. We should take effective steps, including developing countryside, improving city infrastructure and building more recreation facilities, to tackle this modern-day problem.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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