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Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. v. 7
Nowadays, the children receive far less attention as compared to the kids in the past due to the time constraints of their parents. It is agreed that most of the parents spare little time to spend with their children. This essay will also explain the different reasons for this and how it impacts the lives of the children. To begin with, people are mostly busy with their jobs in today' s modern world due to this fast paced work environment. Also, everyone wants to succeed in their profession which leads them to spend extra hours at workplace. For instance, employees in Apple work from morning to late night so that they can be bestowed with extraordinary achievements. As a result of this, these people might end up devoting minimal time towards the welfare of their kids. Furthermore, people like to relax and enjoy with their friends during the leisure time which refrains them to have enough time for their kids. On the same note, a part of population spend part of the weekend cooking and preparing enough meals for the week ahead. For example, the survey performed by UCLA showed that the parents who work extra hours in a day hardly pay attention to either the school work or the personal life of their children. So, a student might end up scoring far less grades than expected in his school. Thus, with above in mind, it can be concluded that the parents who consume the majority of the day at the office have a nominal time to look after their children. In addition, the study and habits of the small kids might also get impacted as a result of this behavior.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
receive far less attention as compared to the kids in the past due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
constraints of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons for this and how it impacts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mostly
busy with their jobs in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s modern world due to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment.
Also
, everyone wants to succeed in their profession which leads them to spend extra hours at workplace.
For instance
, employees in Apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from morning to late night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
be bestowed
with extraordinary achievements.
As a result
of this, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up devoting minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
towards the welfare of their kids.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to relax and enjoy with their friends during the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which refrains them to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their kids. On the same note, a part of population spend part of the weekend cooking and preparing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
meals for the week ahead.
For example
, the survey performed by UCLA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
extra hours in a day hardly pay attention to either the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or the personal life of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a student might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up scoring far
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun grades is countable.
less
grades than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in his school.

Thus
, with above in mind, it can
be concluded
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who consume the majority of the day at the office have a nominal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
, the study and habits of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kids might
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
impacted
as a result
of this behavior.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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