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It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. v.11

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. v. 11
Although, some people believe that children who grow up in a village or a town are superior as compared to kids growing up in big cities while few people counter this agreement. A part of a population still thinks that the bigger cities have a better lifestyle for children. As per my opinion, it is always favorable for a child to grow up in the countryside due to certain reasons which I have explained further. To begin with, children usually remain attached to their roots during their childhood which will eventually help them in their future. On the same note, this attachment might help them to become a respectable person in society. Furthermore, there are small sized communities in towns and kids have more chance to be familiar with their friends which will eventually help them to achieve a better social life. Also, the most significant drawbacks of growing up in the city are that the kids can be exposed to its lavish lifestyle. As a result of this, they might end up involved in certain crimes or situation for money which could land them in trouble. Similarly, the crime rate in cities is significantly higher than villages or towns which can impact these children at their young age. On the other hand, the cities might have better resources for education and career. Thus, with above in mind, we can safely conclude that the kids growing up in the countryside will be strongly connected to their roots with better socialization. In addition, the lifestyle and living standard of cities might prove to be a detriment to the lives of these kids.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that children who grow up in a village or a town are superior as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
growing up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
while few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
counter this agreement. A part of a population
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle for children.

As per my opinion, it is always favorable for a child to grow up in the countryside due to certain reasons which I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
further
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, children
usually
remain attached to their roots during their childhood which will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future. On the same note, this attachment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become a respectable person in society.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sized communities in towns and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have more chance to be familiar with their friends which will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
social life.

Also
, the most significant drawbacks of growing up in the city are that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can
be exposed
to its lavish lifestyle.
As a result
of this, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up involved in certain crimes or situation for money which could land them in trouble.
Similarly
, the crime rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
significantly
higher than villages or towns which can impact these children at their young age.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
resources for education and career.

Thus
, with above in mind, we can
safely
conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
growing up in the countryside will be
strongly
connected to their roots with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
socialization.
In addition
, the lifestyle and living standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
prove to be a detriment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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