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Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. <br> v.5

Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. <br> v. 5
Innovations of science have touched the lives of billions. Most homes these days have at least a washing machine, refrigerator, microwave oven, an air conditioner and these tools have profoundly enhanced the way people live their life. Yet, the negative effects of the dependence on those machines cannot be denied. To begin with, these household appliances save a great deal of time and human labour and this is simply amazing. People no longer need to work all day long to finish their household works and as a result, people can have more quality times. This is definitely a great leap towards the modernisation and a significant enhancement of their lifestyle. For instance, most women in the past century had to remain busy at home but these days they can spend more leisure time and this has all been possible due to the advents of modern household appliances. However, modern technology cannot ensure better lifestyle by all means and in many cases, it deteriorates our lifestyle. For instance, TV is considered to be a wonder box in most houses. Due to our addiction on TV, we have little time to talk with other family members. This is not the desired state at all but an example how machines can negatively affect our lifestyle. Moreover, the modern technology used for preparing food and drinks are not always safe and cannot be compared with the hygiene and food value we used to get from food when they were collected from natural sources and made manually. For instance, the burger, sandwich or ice cream made at home are not as nutritious as our grandmother’s cookies or cakes were. We can, therefore, conclude that technology is a blessing for us and at the same time if we do not use it sensibly, it might bring curse for us as well. This is why, we will have to determine the limit of its usages, even at home, to make our lifestyle standard as well as safe.
Innovations of science have touched the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of billions. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
these days have at least a washing machine, refrigerator, microwave oven, an air conditioner and these tools have
profoundly
enhanced the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life.
Yet
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the dependence on those machines cannot
be denied
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these household appliances save a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and human
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and this is
simply
amazing.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
no longer need to work all day long to finish their household works and
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have more quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. This is definitely a great leap towards the
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
and a significant enhancement of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
For instance
, most women in the past century had to remain busy at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these days they can spend more leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and this has all been possible due to the advents of modern household appliances.

However
, modern technology cannot ensure better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
by all means and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, it deteriorates our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
For instance
, TV
is considered
to be a wonder box in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Due to our addiction on TV, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to talk with other family members. This is not the desired state at all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an example how machines can
negatively
affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Moreover
, the modern technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for preparing food and drinks are not always safe and cannot
be compared
with the hygiene and food value we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from food when they
were collected
from natural sources and made
manually
.
For instance
, the burger, sandwich or ice cream made at home are not as nutritious as our grandmother’s cookies or cakes were.

We can,
therefore
, conclude that technology is a blessing for us and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
if we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
sensibly
, it might bring curse for us
as well
. This is why, we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
determine the limit of its usages, even at home, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
standard
as well
as safe.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. <br> v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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