Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Millions of dollar are spent on space research each year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Millions of dollar are spent on space research each year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. v. 2
Monetary disbursements on space research have been highlighted as an emerging issue, capturing significant public attention in recent decades. Given its pronounced positive impacts, I believe that official authorities should also fund other public sectors equally to guarantee living standards worldwide. Space research could bestow many considerable benefits. First, due to practices of resource exploitation and emission of exhausted fumes stemming from the industrialization process, the earth have been met with irreversible environmental consequences, making it gradually inhabitable. In fact, investments into space projects and space scientists would accelerate the process of finding alternative planets for humans’ new civilization, preventing them from the brink of extinction. Second, expenditure on space research could enable scientists to develop more advanced technologies, which would monitor the patterns of asteroids and other abnormal astronautical activities. This means that space scientists could easily detect outerspace menaces, thereby taking emergency measures, preventing the earth from being crashed. On the other hand, governments should inject funds into other public sectors for citizens’ better living standards. First, if official authorities, especially those in developing and underdeveloped ones undertake initiatives to promote the agricultural sectors, the produce yields will be stable. Consequently, the food securities are ensured, pulling poor citizens out from the circle of extreme poverty. In addition, better living standards manifest through the installment of reliable public infrastructure, which could only be achieved by higher public fund injections. For example, in order to reduce illiteracy rates, more educational institutions should be built with the recruitment of qualified teachers and provision of modern teaching equipment, which would outfit students with empirical knowledge and vocational skills, improving their employment prospects, which equals better living standards. In conclusion, I disagree that government should omit space research and focus on other sectors when it comes to funding. Every sector including space reasearch should be funded on an equal basis to guarantee the final living standards for human development in the long term.
Monetary disbursements on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
have
been highlighted
as an emerging issue, capturing significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
attention in recent decades.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
its pronounced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts, I believe that official authorities should
also
fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
equally
to guarantee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
worldwide.

Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
could bestow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
considerable benefits.
First
, due to practices of resource exploitation and emission of exhausted fumes stemming from the industrialization process, the earth have
been met
with irreversible environmental consequences, making it
gradually
inhabitable. In fact, investments into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
projects and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
scientists would accelerate the process of finding alternative planets for humans’ new civilization, preventing them from the brink of extinction. Second, expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
could enable scientists to develop more advanced technologies, which would monitor the patterns of asteroids and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
abnormal astronautical activities. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
scientists could
easily
detect
Possible spelling mistake found.
outerspace
menaces, thereby taking emergency measures, preventing the earth from
being crashed
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should inject funds into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
for citizens’ better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
.
First
, if official authorities,
especially
those in developing and underdeveloped ones undertake initiatives to promote the agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, the produce yields will be stable.
Consequently
, the food securities
are ensured
, pulling poor citizens out from the circle of extreme poverty.
In addition
, better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
manifest through the installment of reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
infrastructure, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
by higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
fund injections.
For example
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
illiteracy rates, more educational institutions should
be built
with the recruitment of qualified teachers and provision of modern teaching equipment, which would outfit students with empirical knowledge and vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, improving their employment prospects, which equals better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards.

In conclusion
, I disagree that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should omit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to funding. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasearch
should
be funded
on an equal basis to guarantee the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standards
for human development in the long term.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Millions of dollar are spent on space research each year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts