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Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. SOme people argue the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. SOme people argue the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. v. 3
The writer’s view, there is no denying that same educational opportunities should distribute between men and women. However, I disagree with the approach that the admission to universities depend on common of volunteers. It is clearly fanciful that the universities should accept the same quantity of men and women on all degrees of educational period. Furthermore, the educational centres would approve the volunteers based on getting the application. Did a university elect men or women, it would demand sufficient entrant of each feminine. In actuality, countless courses are more popular with one masculine than the others, and it would not function to aim for equal proportions. For example, nursing courses tend to attract more female applicant, and it would be hard to fill these courses if fifty percent of the places needed, allocated to men. Apart from the practical concerns, expressed above, I also believe that the dependency of admission to university on neuter is neither fair nor correct. In addition, the best way to rule justice in this case, acceptance should have based on scientific talents and abilities. Moreover, in this approach both men and women have the same opportunities, and applicant knows that should the work flat out to achieve good grades at school, they would be successful. Thus, is a female student being the best candidate for a place on a course, it would be wrong to reject her in favour of male with lower grades or fewer qualifications. From what has been discussed above, we may conclude that the best factor for accepting the candidates is their qualification based on scientific talents and abilities, nor genus. In one sentence, the more they qualify, the best selection they will have.
The writer’s view, there is no denying that same educational opportunities should distribute between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
However
, I disagree with the approach that the admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
depend on common of volunteers.

It is
clearly
fanciful that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should accept the same quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
on all degrees of educational period.
Furthermore
, the educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
would approve the volunteers based on getting the application. Did a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
elect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, it would demand sufficient entrant of each feminine. In actuality, countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are more popular with one masculine than the others, and it would not function to aim for equal proportions.
For example
, nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
tend to attract more female applicant, and it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to fill these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
if fifty percent of the places needed, allocated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Apart from the practical concerns, expressed above, I
also
believe that the dependency of admission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
on neuter is neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
nor correct.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
justice
in this case
, acceptance should have based on scientific talents and abilities.
Moreover
, in this approach both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have the same opportunities, and applicant knows that should the work flat out to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades at school, they would be successful.
Thus
, is a female student being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
candidate for a place on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to reject her in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of male with lower grades or fewer qualifications.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
factor for accepting the candidates is their qualification based on scientific talents and abilities, nor genus. In one sentence, the more they qualify, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
selection they will have.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. SOme people argue the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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