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It s generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for music and sport and others are not However it s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become good sports person or musician Discuss the two ideas giving yo v.1

It s generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for music and sport and others are not However it s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become good sports person or musician Discuss the two ideas giving yo v. 1
It is considered by some that spending money is a positive benefit for national economic, while there are other who think that people should save money. In my opinion, I believe that it depends on exactly what a country's situation is to decide whether spend money or save it. Firstly, when it comes to economic development, governments should encourage people, such as tourists, to spend more money in order to stimulate the economy. This is because when the number of tourists purchase products or eat in the restaurants, this supports local business to run their firms efficiently, which influences the increase of a country's GDP growth rate. What is more, many new businesses will open due to high customer demand, apart from creating more job opportunities. On the other hand, it is widely argued that people should save money for old age as governments can provide much completely social welfare. If too many residents squander money randomly, resulting in falling into debt, governments will need to primarily tackle financial problems as well as they cannot offer assistance to individuals and families in needs. This also brings other detrimental effects, in particular, health care or transportations are hard to be improved due to lack its budget so people should take into account the issues above and save money for their future. In conclusion, countries economy is related to earn more excise duty from tourists and prevent incurring debt from residents. If people arrange their save and expenditure properly, I believe the country's economy will have positive growth.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
benefit for national economic, while there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "others"?
other
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my opinion, I believe that it depends on exactly what a country's situation is to decide whether spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
it.

Firstly
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to economic development,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, such as tourists, to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to stimulate the economy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the number of tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products or eat in the restaurants, this supports local business to run their firms
efficiently
, which influences the increase of a country's GDP growth rate.
What is more
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new businesses will open due to high customer demand, apart from creating more job opportunities.

On the other hand
, it is
widely
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can provide much completely social welfare. If too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
residents squander
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
randomly
, resulting in falling into debt,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will need to
primarily
tackle financial problems
as well
as they cannot offer assistance to individuals and families in needs. This
also
brings other detrimental effects,
in particular
, health care or transportations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
due to lack its budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take into account the issues above and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future.

In conclusion
, countries economy
is related
to earn more excise duty from tourists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
incurring debt from residents. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
arrange their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
and expenditure
properly
, I believe the country's economy will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
growth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It s generally believed that some people are born with certain talents for instance for music and sport and others are not However it s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become good sports person or musician Discuss the two ideas giving yo v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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