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Many working people get little or o exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.1

Many working people get little or o exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
These days salary earners are doing any exercise either in the working days or during the weekends. This is adversely impacting their health. Main reasons for this being, lack of self interest as well as over reliance on mechanical and electronic devices. This essay will discuss the why people are becoming sluggish and unhealthy, also how spreading awareness and self realisation can help to overcome the same. Most of working class people are becoming lazier these days. This is due to the unwillingness to take part in sport or physical activities even if they have free time. In addition, they are not just using electronic devices for performing the household work, but also excessively relying on mechanical devices outside the home. For an example, according to a survey, more than 40 percentage of people are using washing machines to wash their clothes. They are suffering from health issues because of these reasons. For the betterment of the society it is of paramount importance that workers remain fit. In order to achieve this, private organizations and doctors should spread information and make them realise the need for being healthy. Also, they should stop over dependency on tools to carry out their daily activities. To illustrate, instead of using mobile phones for purchasing items via online shops, they should be encouraged to go to the stores and do their purchasing. Obviously, self realisation and proper guidance would drive many to take part in physical activities, which could enhance overall health. Nowadays, keeping oneself fit and active has become a huge challenge. To conclude, this essay discussed why employees are not involving themselves in physical activities and what needs to be done to encourage them to take up some manual tasks.
These days salary earners are doing any exercise either in the working days or during the weekends. This is
adversely
impacting their health. Main reasons for this being, lack of
self interest
as well
as over reliance on mechanical and electronic devices. This essay will discuss
the why
people
are becoming sluggish and unhealthy,
also
how spreading awareness and self
realisation
can
help
to overcome the same.

Most of working
class
people
are becoming lazier these days. This is due to the unwillingness to
take part
in sport or physical
activities
even if they have free time.
In addition
, they are not
just
using electronic devices for performing the household work,
but
also
excessively
relying on mechanical devices outside the home. For an example, according to a survey, more than 40 percentage of
people
are using washing machines to wash their clothes. They are suffering from health issues
because
of these reasons.

For the betterment of the society it is of paramount importance that workers remain fit. In order to achieve this, private organizations and doctors should spread information and
make
them
realise
the need for being healthy.
Also
, they should
stop
over dependency on tools to carry out their daily
activities
. To illustrate,
instead
of using mobile phones for purchasing items via online shops, they should
be encouraged
to go to the stores and do their purchasing.
Obviously
, self
realisation
and proper guidance would drive
many
to
take part
in physical
activities
, which could enhance
overall
health.

Nowadays, keeping oneself fit and active has become a huge challenge.
To conclude
, this essay discussed why employees
are not involving
themselves in physical
activities
and what needs to
be done
to encourage them to take up
some
manual tasks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many working people get little or o exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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