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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.33

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 33
Exercise has significant contributory health. Because many people get little or no exercise either during working days or weekends, they suffer from health-related issues. In this essay, I will examine why working people do not get plenty of exercise and explain why it can cause negative impacts on human health. People are working longer hours than ever before. They will give extra time to their job to meet deadlines because in today’s modern and technological world, everyone wants to achieve their goals to get success. However, they are unable to save time for their Gym. For example, a study from Harvard University shows that people who are most desperate towards their job are more likely to have health issues like anxiety, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. So, professional people have little or maybe no time to do exercise during working hours or at leisure time and have serious health problems. Therefore, tackling this issue involves altering the public’s mindset. This can only be done by adapting the habit of Yoga. But would this Yoga method work? It must be significant because Yoga helps to boost muscle, it circulates the blood and lowers the early death rate. Also, improves the sleeping patterns and maintains the heartbeat. In Japan, for instance, 73 percent male and 78 percent of females rottenly do Yoga to mitigating health issues. In Germany, Yoga is known to be effective. So, the people, who unfortunately do not get time from their hectic work schedule should adopt this habit to deter the diseases. In conclusion, it is pivotal to escape some time from our busy work routine to avoid health-related issues. If the people escape some time for their own, then we would not have these harmful issues. In my opinion, our main focus should be on health and we should spare some time for ourselves because health is a great blessing of God and without it, our life doesn't less a disguise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
has significant contributory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
either during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days or weekends, they suffer from health-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. In this essay, I will examine why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on human health.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
longer hours than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They will give extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
deadlines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern and technological world, everyone wants to achieve their goals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success.
However
, they are unable to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their Gym.
For example
, a study from Harvard University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are most desperate towards their job are more likely to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like anxiety, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or maybe no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours or at leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and have serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

Therefore
, tackling this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
involves altering the public’s mindset. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be done
by adapting the habit of Yoga.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
would this Yoga method work? It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Yoga
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost muscle, it circulates the blood and lowers the early death rate.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the sleeping patterns and maintains the heartbeat. In Japan,
for instance
, 73 percent male and 78 percent of females
rottenly
do Yoga to mitigating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. In Germany, Yoga
is known
to be effective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who unfortunately do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from their hectic work schedule should adopt this habit to deter the diseases.

In conclusion
, it is pivotal to escape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from our busy work routine to avoid health-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
escape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, then we would not have these harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. In my opinion, our main focus should be on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
we should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is a great blessing of God and without it, our life doesn't less a disguise.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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