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Many working people get little or no exercise during the workday or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many people do not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.6

Working professionals suffer from various health problems since they usually do not get to workout so often, either during work week or even in their leisure time. There are multiple reasons because of which they do not get to exercise a lot, such as, restricted movement, being lethargic, and working for longer hours. In the following essay we will shed more light on these reasons with some solutions to curb this problem. Professionals nowadays choose to work from home instead of going to office, which not only restricts their movement but also pushes them to work for longer hours. Even in their free time they are swamped with multiple household chores leaving them feel exhausted by end of the day. Due to these reasons, they do not get enough time to look out for themselves and exercise. Thus, they tend to suffer from various health problems, such as, spondylitis, mental pressure, and obesity. Spreading awareness about inculcating exercise in one’s routine can help people understand its importance. Companies can conduct such educational sessions every month where employees get to explore different methods to work out during their busy routine. One such methods could be stretching one’s arms while seated on the office chair. Joining a sports activity, such as, gym, yoga, Zumba or aerobics can also help in creating a routine for busy professionals. To conclude, professionals are so busy in their daily lives with longer working hours and cumbersome household chores that they forget to spend time on themselves and workout. Hence, they are in need of alternate methods to add exercising in their daily routine.
Working professionals suffer from various health problems since they
usually
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
The verb “work out” is spelled as two words. The noun ‘workout’ is spelled as one.
workout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, either during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
week or even in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. There are multiple reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to exercise a lot, such as, restricted movement, being lethargic, and working for longer hours. In the following essay we will shed more light on these reasons with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to curb this problem.

Professionals nowadays choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home
instead
of going to office, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
restricts their movement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pushes them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for longer hours. Even in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
are swamped
with multiple household chores leaving them feel exhausted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day. Due to these reasons, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look out for themselves and exercise.
Thus
, they tend to suffer from various health problems, such as, spondylitis, mental pressure, and obesity.

Spreading awareness about inculcating exercise in one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand its importance.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
can conduct such educational sessions every
It is better to use ‘month’ with the time-relative pronoun ‘when’: “month when”. (Alternatively, use ‘in/on which’)
month where
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out during their busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
. One such methods could be stretching one’s arms while seated on the office chair. Joining a sports activity, such as, gym, yoga, Zumba or aerobics can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
for busy professionals.

To conclude
, professionals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with longer working hours and cumbersome household chores that they forget to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on themselves and workout.
Hence
, they are in need of alternate methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
exercising in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routine
.

IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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