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Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v.4

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v. 4
These days, many students are forced to live by their own to pursue higher education, while others are able to live with their parents. From my perspective, both situations have their benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, there are two main merits of living alone. Firstly, living away from home encourages student’s independence. The reason is that they need to do all the chores by themselves such as cooking or cleaning. Secondly, university students who live by themselves have to balance their study and doing housework. As a result, they would have opportunities to develop the time management skill, which is certainly one of the most essential skills in their future and career. However, in order to pay for their expensive living cost, some students have to work while studying that might make them fall behind with their studies. On the other hand, those who live with their families do not need to worry much about the living cost and are able to economize since they do not have to pay for accommodation. Therefore, they can completely concentrate on studying to make the best performance at university. However, family routines are often disruptive for students who need to focus on their studies in a quiet atmosphere. Without a dedicated space for studying, it is hard for students to keep up with their study schedule. In conclusion, while there will be clearly differences in the personal circumstances of individual university students, some advantages and disadvantages of living alone and with families can be identified.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
to pursue higher education, while others are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their parents. From my perspective, both situations have their benefits and drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are two main merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
independence. The reason is that they need to do all the chores by themselves such as cooking or cleaning.
Secondly
, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
balance their study and doing housework.
As a result
, they would have opportunities to develop the time management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which is
certainly
one of the most essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their future and career.
However
, in order to pay for their expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
cost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work while studying that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fall behind with their studies.

On the other hand
, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their families do not need to worry much about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
cost and are able to economize since they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for accommodation.
Therefore
, they can completely concentrate on studying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best performance at university.
However
, family routines are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
disruptive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who need to focus on their studies in a quiet atmosphere. Without a dedicated space for studying, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with their study schedule.

In conclusion
, while there will be
clearly
differences in the personal circumstances of individual university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone and with families can
be identified
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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