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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.1

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1
Over the last decades, globalization has increased. People are opting for difficult travelling rather relaxing. There are both pros and cons of edge, travelling, we will discuss both in details. Adventure holidays have taken place of relaxing outing. Nowadays people are choosing endangered travelling like mountain trekking, desert safari, river rafting, travelling to the Antarctic and so on. Risk travelling not only enhance the confidence of the person, but also provides courage to stay aloof. It helps to survive with minimum resources and enrich persona of discipline. Thrilling experience attracts all ages from young youth to old people. It enhances the economic status of that town. It provides necessary employment to locals when the town becomes a tourist attraction. Trekking on a difficult mountain enriches feeling of exhilaration. When one reaches the top of the mountain where no other person has yet reached gives a feeling of pride to trekker along with his nation. The curiosity of exploring unknown places encourages people to travel danger places. Such curiosity allowed Columbus to discover unknown islands. To achieve difficult task is enthralling feeling which can only be experienced. Conversely, there are cons of the difficult travelling. Dangerous trip may not go as planned. There are many mountaineers who had died during high peaks due to lack of oxygen. Also, some explorer has survived unrecoverable accidents were left bedridden. If someone goes missing during trips then state might have to initiate an expensive search to look out to a traveller. Hence there are positive as well as negative of endangerment travelling. But still curious human will continue to explore and conquer the world.
Over the last decades, globalization has increased.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
rather
relaxing. There are both pros and cons of edge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, we will discuss both in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Adventure holidays have taken place of relaxing outing. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
like mountain trekking, desert safari, river rafting,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


Antarctic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance the confidence of the person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides courage to stay aloof. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to survive with minimum resources and enrich persona of discipline. Thrilling experience attracts all ages from young youth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It enhances the economic status of that town. It provides necessary employment to locals when the town becomes a tourist attraction.

Trekking on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
mountain enriches feeling of exhilaration. When one reaches the top of the mountain where no other person has
yet
reached gives a feeling of pride to trekker along with his nation. The curiosity of exploring unknown places encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
places. Such curiosity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
Columbus to discover unknown islands. To achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
task is enthralling feeling which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be experienced
.

Conversely
, there are cons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Dangerous
trip may not go as planned. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mountaineers who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
during high peaks due to lack of oxygen.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explorer has survived unrecoverable accidents were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
bedridden. If someone goes missing during trips then state might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
initiate an expensive search to look out to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of endangerment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
curious human will continue to explore and conquer the world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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