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Many universities charge higher fees for foreign students. Why do they do this? Do you believe that it is fair? v.2

Many universities charge higher fees for foreign students. Why do they do this? Do you believe that it is fair? v. 2
Universities are the best place students always choose after their tertiary schooling. Most of the students prefer to study in a good university. In my point of view, universities take a large amount of money from foreign students because they have to keep their standard and I think it is fair to take more money from the foreign students. Firstly, universities carry out a particular standard and reputation. When students choose a selected university to study, it increases their productivity as well as overall development. The university charges huge fees for outside students so that they can have qualified and experienced lecturers to teach and mould them. There will be many facilities for the students to access like libraries, laboratories, multi-purpose halls and so on. Universities offer accommodation and food to the students. Students can achieve their dream by studying in a reputed university with an excellent professional background. Secondly, it is fair to take high fees from the foreign students because if they are getting the quality education and facilities it is worth to get the money from them. They have many options in subjects and it satisfies them by choosing the best university to study. On the other hand, universities do not take much payment from the citizens, they always try to care and protect their citizens by giving good quality education. Moreover, many universities prefer more opportunities for the students to grow as an individual and to get a good job in the future by giving the very good education. Many universities have a different policy for foreign students and they usually take a higher fee from them. The citizens of a country already pay a large amount of tax to the government and thus government ensures the education for their children and grandchildren. So it is totally justified that local students should pay less. To sum up, universities can charge huge fees from the students and the university should make sure that they are giving the best education to the students according to their wish.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
are the best place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
always choose after their tertiary schooling. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to study in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
take a large amount of money from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their standard and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to take more money from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
students.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
carry out a particular standard and reputation. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose a selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to study, it increases their productivity
as well
as
overall
development. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
charges huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have qualified and experienced lecturers to teach and
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
them. There will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to access like libraries, laboratories, multi-purpose halls and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
offer accommodation and food to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can achieve their dream by studying in a reputed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with an excellent professional background.

Secondly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to take high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they are getting the quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and facilities it is worth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the money from them. They have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options in subjects and it satisfies them by choosing the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to study.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
do not take much payment from the citizens, they always try to care and protect their citizens by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
prefer more opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to grow as an individual and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job in the future by giving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
policy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they
usually
take a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
from them. The citizens of a country already pay a large amount of tax to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ensures the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their children and grandchildren.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
totally
justified that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pay less.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can charge huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they are giving the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
according to their wish.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Many universities charge higher fees for foreign students. Why do they do this? Do you believe that it is fair? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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