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Teachers can gain a reputation for being just, or fair, with students. What features make a teacher seem fair to students? v.2

Teachers can gain a reputation for being just, or fair, with students. What features make a teacher seem fair to students? v. 2
Pollution due to excessive packaging of items sold in departmental stores is increasing these days. A few believe that it is the responsibility of the production houses and the departmental stores to decrease the waste produced in enclosing these items, while others argue that consumers should avoid such products which have a heavy package layer. This essay will discuss both views and in my opinion, industries should avoid extensive packages. Attractive packing of a product is done so that it attracts the customer to buy them. This packing is discarded by the people, which will eventually cause pollution. For example, often food items are packed with covers that contain beautiful designs and multiple layers so that as to increase sales. However, if an individual avoids such products, the amount of waste produced by their use decreases. Therefore, consumers should reduce consumption of such goods. Despite all this, it is primarily the responsibility of the manufacturing centre and supermarkets to decrease the utilization of excessive packing material. This will not only be environmentally friendly, but also will reduce the cost of manufacturing. For instance, a recent study suggested that Walmart has reduced the amount spent on packaged goods last month which has increased their profits by 10 percent. Hence, it is important that manufactures and departmental stores should take the liability to decrease packing. In conclusion, there has been a steep rise in pollution due to heavy use of packing materials. This essay discussed that, although some argue that customers should restrict the use of such goods, I opine that the production houses and supermarkets should be liable to reduce the use of wraping materials as it will be an envirionmentally friendly move and will also increase their financial p.
Pollution due to excessive packaging of items sold in departmental stores is increasing these days. A few believe that it is the responsibility of the production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and the departmental stores to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
the waste produced in enclosing these items, while others argue that consumers should avoid such products which have a heavy package layer. This essay will discuss both views and in my opinion, industries should avoid extensive packages.

Attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
of a product
is done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it attracts the customer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
is discarded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which will
eventually
cause pollution.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
food items
are packed
with covers that contain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
designs and multiple layers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that as to increase sales.
However
, if an individual avoids such products, the amount of waste produced by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreases
.
Therefore
, consumers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
consumption of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Despite all this, it is
primarily
the responsibility of the manufacturing
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and supermarkets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
the utilization of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
material. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
environmentally
friendly,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of manufacturing.
For instance
, a recent study suggested that Walmart has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the amount spent on packaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
last month which has increased their profits by 10 percent.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that manufactures and departmental stores should take the liability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decrease
packing.

In conclusion
, there has been a steep rise in pollution due to heavy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
materials. This essay discussed that, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that customers should restrict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, I opine that the production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and supermarkets should be liable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
wraping
materials as it will be an
Possible spelling mistake found.
envirionmentally
friendly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and will
also
increase their financial p.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Teachers can gain a reputation for being just, or fair, with students. What features make a teacher seem fair to students? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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