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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands now being done by machines. Does the development bring more advantages or disadvantages. v.2

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands now being done by machines. Does the development bring more advantages or disadvantages. v. 2
We are living in the age of technology when most of the things are done by machines rather than manual. Most of home appliances are the sort of modern machines. A massive amount of people are using these gadgets for completing the task of chores. In this essay, we will discuss the positive and negative aspects of these home appliances. It is quite true to say that the main advantage of these innovations is to optimize time and work comfortably in a convenient way. Most of women are using automatic machines for completing the work as compared to the past. In addition, washing machine, vacuum cleaner, microwave has been invented for reducing the burden of the work. According to the recent survey, In Asia, 85% people are using these semi automatic and automatic machine for getting fruitful consequence of these gadgets. A major negative aspect of these machines taking over the control of our house chores is that they are making most of the people unhealthy and lazy. Owing to this way, most of the work has been completed with these machines which is done by manually in the past. The second dark side impact of this automatic gadgets is that the electricity bill charges has been increased dramatically and also increased the pollution of the environment due to the emission of energy. For example, one unit was equal to five rupees in the past. Now the worst effect is that the unit of electrical charges has been increased and one unit is equal to twenty one rupees. Thus, a variety of negative impacts of automatic machines as compared to manual work. In conclusion, the advantages of using these household appliances outweigh the disadvantages because automatic machine is the best option for saving time and efficiently work. Although, we cannot neglect the negative impacts of gadgets.
We are living in the age of technology when most of the things
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
rather
than manual. Most of home appliances are the sort of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. A massive amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using these gadgets for completing the task of chores. In this essay, we will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspects of these home appliances.

It is quite true to say that the main advantage of these innovations is to optimize time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
comfortably
Consider replacing "in a convenient way" with the adverb for "convenient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a convenient way
.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the women") or simply say "Most women".
Most of women
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as compared to the past.
In addition
, washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, vacuum cleaner, microwave has
been invented
for reducing the burden of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. According to the recent survey, In Asia, 85%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using these semi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automatic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
for getting fruitful consequence of these gadgets.

A major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspect of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
taking over the control of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores is that they are making most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
unhealthy and lazy. Owing to this way, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has
been completed
with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
which
is done
by
manually
in the past. The second dark side impact of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automatic
gadgets is that the electricity bill charges has
been increased
dramatically
and
also
increased the pollution of the environment due to the emission of energy.
For example
, one unit was equal to five rupees in the past.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the worst effect is that the unit of electrical charges has
been increased
and one unit is equal to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty one
rupees.
Thus
, a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
as compared to manual work.

In conclusion
, the advantages of using these household appliances outweigh the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
automatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
is the best option for saving time and
efficiently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, we cannot neglect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts of gadgets.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many things that used to be done in the home by hands now being done by machines. Does the development bring more advantages or disadvantages. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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