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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. v.3

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. v. 3
Nowadays, There has been a significant increase in the number of machines available and each offering a variety of uses. While it is up to an individual to use it in their home, others may not share the same opinion and would rather perform domestic duties the traditional way. While both of these choices offer some merits, we will look at both viewpoints and discuss the pros and cons. Firstly, the utilization of these machines have increased our efficiency. For example, household chores that would take hours, could be done at the fraction of a time. As a result, this increases our availability to partake in meaningful excursion. With that said, the benefits are clear in its use in our household. On the other hand, our constant reliance on these devices has made us lazy and procrastinators. As an illustration, persons would wait till the last minute or near deadline to begin work, because they know the work can be done in a timely manner by the machine. Sometimes, this results in members missing deadlines because of unforeseen failure in these machines, as oppose to starting a task with a prompt response. To summarize, the machines used in our house provides us with many benefits and freedom, yet persons have taken for granted these benefits. Rather than utilizing this new found freedom in a more meaningful way, it may be squandered. Therefore, it is up to everyone's discretion on whether or not to include and use these appliances in their household.
Nowadays, There has been a significant increase in the number of
machines
available and each offering a variety of
uses
. While it is up to an individual to
use
it in their home, others may not share the same opinion and would
rather
perform domestic duties the traditional way. While both of these choices offer
some
merits, we will look at both viewpoints and discuss the pros and cons.

Firstly
, the utilization of these
machines
have increased our efficiency.
For example
, household chores that would take hours, could
be done
at the fraction of a time.
As a result
, this increases our availability to partake in meaningful excursion. With that said, the benefits are
clear
in its
use
in our household.

On the other hand
, our constant reliance on these devices has made us lazy and procrastinators. As an illustration, persons would wait till the last minute or near deadline to
begin
work,
because
they know the work can
be done
in a timely manner by the
machine
.
Sometimes
, this results in members missing deadlines
because
of unforeseen failure in these
machines
,
as oppose to
starting a task with a prompt response.

To summarize
, the
machines
used
in our
house
provides us with
many
benefits and freedom,
yet
persons have taken for granted these benefits.
Rather
than utilizing this
new found
freedom in a more meaningful way, it may
be squandered
.
Therefore
, it is up to everyone's discretion on
whether or not
to include and
use
these appliances in their household.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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