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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. v.2

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. v. 2
In the modern world, people are not willing to do many house works. In this reason, the scientific advancements can alleviate the situation. Nowadays, thanks to advanced technologies, many things in the house such as washing, cooking and cleaning is done by machines. However, others feel that this tendency has also many disadvantages, such as the high price for buying these machines and expenses for taking care of these gadgets. On the one hand, it is true that the main advantage of these digital technologies, which is very comprehensive for many users is saving a time, as people can do other things instead of dedicating their whole time in the household works. Furthermore, they would have more leisure activities, if modern technologies performed household duties. For example, they can spend their time with family members, hang out with their friends and go to the cinema. Especially, the housewives will get more benefit from these changes, as they usually do such kinds of activities at home. On the other hand, it is clear that this trend has also drawbacks, and the high cost of these machines is the first disadvantage. In this regard, poor families cannot afford this scientific breakthrough. Moreover, these gadgets also need a special care and expenses. They consume electricity, and users should put them in charge. However, human intervention is also necessary. To illustrate, they should put their clothes in the laundry, switch on/off the vacuum machine and control the cooking process. In conclusion, although many people are keen to use as many technologies as possible at home, others feel that these changes cannot be implemented without the human intervention. In addition, individuals should control the process.
In the modern world,
people
are not willing to do
many
house
works. In this reason, the scientific advancements can alleviate the situation. Nowadays, thanks to advanced
technologies
,
many
things in the
house
such as washing, cooking and cleaning
is done
by
machines
.
However
, others feel that this tendency has
also
many
disadvantages, such as the high price for buying these
machines
and expenses for taking care of these gadgets.

On the one hand, it is true that the main advantage of these digital
technologies
, which is
very
comprehensive for
many
users is saving a time, as
people
can do
other
things
instead
of dedicating their whole time in the household works.
Furthermore
, they would have more leisure activities, if modern
technologies
performed household duties.
For example
, they can spend their time with family members, hang out with their friends and go to the cinema.
Especially
, the housewives will
get
more benefit from these
changes
, as they
usually
do such kinds of activities at home.

On the
other
hand, it is
clear
that this trend has
also
drawbacks, and the high cost of these
machines
is the
first
disadvantage. In this regard, poor families cannot afford this scientific breakthrough.
Moreover
, these gadgets
also
need a special care and expenses. They consume electricity, and users should put them in charge.
However
, human intervention is
also
necessary. To illustrate, they should put their clothes in the laundry, switch on/off the vacuum
machine
and control the cooking process.

In conclusion
, although
many
people
are keen to
use
as
many
technologies
as possible at home, others feel that these
changes
cannot
be implemented
without the human intervention.
In addition
, individuals should control the process.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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