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Many jobs that used to be done by humans are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage. v. 4
Nowadays, progress in the world goes faster and faster day by day. For example, jobs that have been done by humans, are done by robots and machines presently. From my point of view, this tendency has much more advantages than disadvantages. Firstly, it saves time for people to do more important work, such as creating new technologies and doing researches. Secondly, workers now have more time to spend it with their families and friends. To begin with, high technologies are essential in our modern life. Scientists have a lot of time to bring new inventions to the world, while machines do simple monotonous job. For instance, there were 20% more innovations introduced in the past 3 years. This research, that was published in the BBC in March 2020, proves, that mechanization has a lot of positive sides. Furthermore, people who used to work hard in factories are now doing a simpler work, such as, adjusting machine’s work and so on. In this case, they are not so tired at the end of a day, so they can spend their free time more productive and interesting. For example, go for a walk with wife or play some games with kids. That is why technologies are useful. To sum up, all this examples show, that mechanization has more pros than cons. In my humble opinion, it should be developed faster to bring the society even more inventions and give more time for relaxation. I guess, it will be no work, that must be done by humans in 5 years.
Nowadays, progress in the world goes faster and faster day by day.
For example
, jobs that have
been done
by humans,
are done
by robots and machines
presently
. From my point of view, this tendency has much more advantages than disadvantages.
Firstly
, it saves
time
for
people
to do more
important
work
, such as creating new technologies and doing researches.
Secondly
, workers
now
have more
time
to spend it with their families and friends.

To
begin
with, high technologies are essential in our modern life. Scientists have
a lot of
time
to bring new inventions to the world, while machines do simple monotonous job.
For instance
, there were 20% more innovations introduced in the past 3 years. This research, that
was published
in the BBC in March 2020, proves, that mechanization has
a lot of
positive
sides.

Furthermore
,
people
who
used
to
work
hard
in factories are
now
doing a simpler
work
, such as, adjusting machine’s
work
and
so
on.
In this case
, they are not
so
tired at the
end
of a day,
so
they can spend their free
time
more productive and interesting.
For example
, go for a walk with wife or play
some
games with kids.
That is
why technologies are useful.

To sum up, all this examples
show
, that mechanization has more pros than cons. In my humble opinion, it should
be developed
faster to bring the society even more inventions and give more
time
for relaxation. I guess, it will be no
work
, that
must
be done
by humans in 5 years.
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IELTS essay Many jobs that used to be done by humans are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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