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Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage v.1

Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage v. 1
Nowadays, most of the household work, which people use to do manually, are performed by using home appliances. Undoubtedly, doing domestic tasks with these instruments has made people's life comfortable; however, it affects human health. The Major benefit of using machines to do household work is, it is energy efficient. Clearly, machines are faster and efficient to perform menial jobs than humans. Therefore, applying these equipment to complete domestic tasks will not only saves time but also effort to the appliers. Thus, these equipment make people's life more relaxing. For instance, grinder, which people are using these days to grind spice, takes only few minutes to smash the spice. But, before the advent of this instrument, most of the people use to do that work manually which took significant amount of time and also endeavor. On the other hand, the main con is that the dependency on machine affects human health. This is because, people get use to in sedentary lifestyle as they get most of their work done by the appliances. Hence, they do less physical movement; therefore, burn few calories which resulted with certain health issues. For example, the recent survey conducted by the WHO, narrated that the rate of obesity is 50% higher to those adults who are mostly dependent to electronic devices to finish their work. In conclusion, although the use of devices in domestic task is mostly beneficial for the mankind as these make the living more convenient, some people oppose with the view that, it is harmful for physical health. Nevertheless, the advantage is outweigh the disadvantage as long as employ these machines carefully.
Nowadays, most of the household
work
, which
people
use
to do
manually
,
are performed
by using home appliances.
Undoubtedly
, doing domestic tasks with these instruments has made
people
's life comfortable;
however
, it affects human health.

The Major benefit of using
machines
to do household
work
is, it is energy efficient.
Clearly
,
machines
are faster and efficient to perform menial jobs than humans.
Therefore
, applying
these equipment
to complete domestic tasks will not
only
saves
time
but
also
effort to the appliers.
Thus
, these equipment
make
people
's life more relaxing.
For instance
, grinder, which
people
are using these days to grind spice, takes
only
few minutes to smash the spice.
But
,
before
the advent of this instrument, most of the
people
use to
do that
work
manually
which took significant amount of time and
also
endeavor.

On the other hand
, the main con is that the dependency on
machine
affects human health. This is
because
,
people
get
use
to in sedentary lifestyle as they
get
most of their
work
done by the appliances.
Hence
, they do less physical movement;
therefore
, burn few calories which resulted with certain health issues.
For example
, the recent survey conducted by the WHO, narrated that the rate of obesity is 50% higher to those adults who are
mostly
dependent to electronic devices to finish their work.

In conclusion
, although the
use
of devices in domestic task is
mostly
beneficial for the mankind as these
make
the living more convenient,
some
people
oppose with the view that, it is harmful for physical health.
Nevertheless
, the advantage is
outweigh
the disadvantage as long as employ these
machines
carefully
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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