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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both ideas by giving your opinion. v.7

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 7
Passion and hard work are the foremost qualities of every successful person in the world. There are certain sections of people who believe that some individuals are born with certain talents which led them to get the success in their respective fields such as music and sports while there are others who think that any fellow can become a good sportsman or a musician by learning the skills. In my view, anyone can become the best in any discipline with hard work and dedication, irrespective of their talent or facilities available to them. First of all, if we talk about sports, some people are blessed with a special type of physique which make them easier to play the particular sport. For example, Usain Bolt has such a unique athletic physique that winning races are like a cakewalk for him. In the similar way, it can be said that if someone is born with the melodious voice, then he/she can easily get into the music world. The second thing is that many individuals with the inborn talents obtained these characteristics from their parents as they were related to these fields somehow in the past or present. This led them of having interests in the similar areas and also they get proper guidance from them. For example, if we talk about Sara Ali Khan, she got her talent from her movie star parents, which is also the reason behind her natural acting in her debut movie. Therefore, there is no denying in the fact that certain people are born with definite talents which makes them effortlessly achieve the targets. On the flip side, there is also a view that any human being can be trained to become a successful musician or sports person. But in this case, he must have a great desire to make his dreams come true otherwise things would not work out. Moreover, they would need someone who would show them the right direction to learn the skills with patience and dedication. For instance, Sania Nehwal is a great badminton player who got tremendous success after getting the right coaching from her instructor and good support from her father in all the phases of life. Consequently, it can be possible for any individual to become what they want in their life with proper guidance. Finally, it can be rightly said that both views are right in their own perspective as some people are inborn stars while others can attain the expertise by training, diligence and passion. In my view, a man would become what he thinks and does in his lives. If an individual is having a strong desire of achieving fame in any discipline, then no one can stop him.
Passion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work are the foremost qualities of every successful person in the world. There are certain sections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are born
with certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
which led them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the success in their respective fields such as music and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
while there are others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that any fellow can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sportsman or a musician by learning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the best in any discipline with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and dedication, irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
or facilities available to them.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if we talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are blessed
with a special type of physique which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them easier to play the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Usain
Bolt has such a unique athletic physique that winning races are like a cakewalk for him. In the similar way, it can
be said
that if someone
is born
with the melodious voice, then he/she can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the music world. The second thing is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
with the inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
obtained these characteristics from their parents as they
were related
to these fields somehow in the past or present. This led them of having interests in the similar areas and
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper guidance from them.
For example
, if we talk about Sara Ali Khan, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
from her movie star parents, which is
also
the reason behind her natural acting in her debut movie.
Therefore
, there is no denying in the fact that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
effortlessly
achieve the targets.

On the flip side, there is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that any human being can
be trained
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a successful musician or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in this case
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a great desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his dreams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true
otherwise
things would not work out.
Moreover
, they would need someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the right direction to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with patience and dedication.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sania
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nehwal
is a great badminton player
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
tremendous success after getting the right coaching from her instructor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
support from her father in all the phases of life.
Consequently
, it can be possible for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
what they want in their life with proper guidance.

Finally
, it can be
rightly
said that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
are right in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inborn stars while others can attain the expertise by training, diligence and passion. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
what he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
and does in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is having a strong desire of achieving fame in any discipline, then no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
him.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
452 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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